Chinese Judge and the Pig Whisperer

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

A century ago, Xiamen's foreigners were quite impressed with both the imagination and the sense of humor of Chinese judges--as well as their humanity. I enjoyed this excerpt from MacGowan ("Men and Manners of Modern China," 1912, pp. 164-6), in which a Chinese judge appealed to a goddess to solve a crime!

CHINESE JUDGES

The Chinese judge, having nothing to control his decisions excepting his own free will, frequently settles cases after a very free and easy method. He sometimes shows great common-sense and ingenuity in the ruses adopted to elicit the truth in some disputed case. An amusing instance occurred some time ago, when the mandarin showed himself to be a man of humour and one well acquainted with the ins and outs of the Chinese mind. A Chinese went abroad and stayed away for fifteen years, where he accumulated quite a comfortable little sum, with which he determined to return home and spend the rest of his days in comfort. Night had fallen when he reached the entrance of the village where his home was. During all the years he had been away no letter had passed between him and his wife, and no tidings had ever reached him about her or his home. Was she alive? And, if so, would she receive him kindly after the neglect of years? His mind was so agitated about the reception he was likely to receive that he took the bar of gold into which he had converted his savings, and hid it in the ashes of the incense dish in front of the village idol in the public temple, and then with beating heart he made his way to his home. He found his wife alive, and to his delight she received him without any reproaches. She was too happy to have him back again to dream of scolding him. As they sat talking he told her how much money he had made and how it was then in the incense dish in front of the Goddess of Mercy in the village temple. He tried to tell her this in a low voice, but he did not succeed. A Chinese does not seem to know how to whisper. He can shout and bawl and howl, but the art of speaking quietly into another’s ear is a lost one in China. The expression “in a pig’s whisper” would be utterly misunderstood in this land.

At a crack in the wall that separated his house from his neighbour’s was an ear that drank in every word that was uttered by husband and wife. It seemed glued to it. It was fascinated, indeed, by the strange stories that poured into it, and when the tale of the gold bar was related it thrilled with joy, for it seemed as though some fairy had come to reveal a hidden fortune. Next morning, before the dawn of the day, the husband wound his way silently to the temple for his gold bar, but to his horror he found it was gone. He at once accused his neighbor of the theft, but the latter declared that he had not even heard of his return, and , therefore, he could not possibly have known anything about his gold. Finding it useless to discuss the matter, he hurried to the nearest mandarin and laid his complaint before him. This official happened to be a man of humour as well as a very sagacious one. He summoned the accused before him and ordered him to restore the gold. This the man declared he could not do for the simple reason that he had never taken it. The mandarin, who was convinced of his guilt, now determined to adopt a ruse which he believed would be successful. He ordered his policeman to go to the village temple and bring the idol in whose incense dish the gold had been concealed into his presence. When it arrived he asked the goddess who had stolen the gold. Profound silence was the only reply. “Don’t you consider it your duty to tell me who the thief is, seeing that the money was practically entrusted to you care?” asked the mandarin. Still no reply. Upon this the judge became indignant and accused the idol of want of respect to him, and also of neglect in allowing a theft to take place in a temple that was her residence. The mandarin now adjourned the case for a day and in an angry tone threatened the goddess that if she did not confess then he would have her publicly beaten with rods by his policemen.

That same evening the mandarin summoned the accused into his private room, and with a look of mystery on his face and in a voice trembling with emotion he said: “The goddess has confessed that it was you who stole the gold. She is furious with you, for you have made her ‘lose face’ to-day when I threatened before my whole court to have her beaten, and she vows vengeance against you and your whole family. She says she will make your fields barren and send sickness into your home. Yours sons will die, and when you leave the world there will be no one to worship at your tomb, and you will wander a hungry and wretched spirit in the land of the shades. The only way in which you can avert the wrath of the goddess is by an instant confession. If you do this, I will use all my influence to get her to forgive you.” The man was so terrified at the prospect of such awful calamities awaiting him that, trembling and full of awe, he made a clean breast of it and restored the bar of gold to the rightful owner; and, though he was punished by the mandarin for his wrong, he considered he had got off lightly, since he had not to suffer the vengeance of the goddess.

.www.amoymagic.com

The U,S, Consul on Xiamen Law (1893)

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
When D.C. Judge Roy Pearson, the fearless crusader against frivolous lawsuits, sued a Chinese laundry for $65.5 million after they lost their pants, the Chinese proprietors probably wished they were back in China where, according to Xiamen's U.S. Consul Mr. Edward Bedloe, Chinese are not a litigious society. At least they weren't in 1893, when Bedloe made his report--but times may be changing.

As Xiamen University's Law Department takes off, we have foreign lawyers crawling out of the woodwork, coming to learn and, scarier yet, to teach... I hope you enjoy this excerpt from Amoy U.S. Consul Bedloe's report in “Reports from the Consuls of the United States, Commerce, Manufactures, Etc., Vol. XLII, May, June, July and August, 1893”...

“To an American newcomer in China the laws respecting debt seem at first to be a labyrinth without a clew. Even a lawyer finds it difficult to determine the principles upon which Chinese jurisprudence is based. When, however, the student applies the touchstone of history and public policy, a system is disclosed which, thought it is at utter variance with any that prevails in countries that follow the common law or that employ a code, possesses great wisdom and practical merit. Time and space forbid a detailed account of the juridical development of China, but a brief synopsis may be of benefit to the reader.

In the first place, all Chinese law is customary law…. The law books (so called) of the country are hardly commentaries. They profess to be statements of what is considered right and proper by the community at large.

In the second place, the Chinese regard litigation as an evil and try to reduce it to a minimum. There are no lawyers, no costs, fees, or allowances. There are no calendars, rules of practice, judgment rolls, nor any of the machinery which makes the attorney so prominent a feature of civilized life. A magistrate hears and determines a case very much as a father does a dispute between to children, or, better still, as an arbitrator does a difficulty between two friendly merchants. In the main, justice is done in the premises and, it must be added, is done more speedily, cheaply, and thoroughly than by the tribunals of our own race.

In the third place, litigation being an evil, public policy has increased to a very large extent the number of obligations which have no legal or binding nature except the honor of the debtor. Many of these “debts of honor” will seem monstrous to the legal mind……

…Professional services at Chinese law have in the main no legal value. In practice a physician keeps a memorandum of his services, but seldom, if ever, sends a bill. When his work is done, the patient usually hands him an amount of money equal to what would have been charged under the American system. For this no receipt is given. The same principle applies to scribes, mediums, priests, and other professionals. As a heck upon non-paying customers shrewd professional men insist upon a note, I O U, or bond before doing any work. The document, no matter what its form, is as binding as ordinary business paper. It may be well to add at this point that a creditor has means of collecting debts which seem ridiculous to the Western mind. He depends upon the profound love of peace and tranquility so characteristic of the Chinese race. When a patron or client shows a disinclination toward payment, he visits the latter’s house, sits upon the threshold, and weeps and harangues until his bill is paid. It seldom requires more than an hour of lamentation to collect any reasonable claim.

In cases of insolvency legal debts and those of honor are almost invariably paid by the debtor if he retrieves his position. In very many cases the obligations of bankrupt have been assumed by his children and even grandchildren. This is a legal duty when the debt is legal in character. When it is a debt of honor, its payment by a second generation is considered an act of high filial piety.

A custom, probably peculiar to china, is that of mutual forgetfulness. Business men who have advanced moneys or sold goods on credit and find it impossible to collect their capital or to obtain payment in full of the amount due them, but who are on friendly terms with their debtors, will, after several years, call upon the latter and agree to “forget everything to date.” This is equivalent to a mutual release under seal and is highly favored by the great magistrates and priests of China. In conclusion, it may be stated that commercial litigation and insolvency are much rarer in China than in Europe or the United States. The number of tribunals, magistrates, and court officers is scarcely one-third, and the amount involved not a tenth, of what is at stake in the courts of Christendom.

Beyond the fear of going to law is the greater fear and disgrace of being a delinquent debtor. A Chinaman who becomes financially embarrassed will sell himself for a plantation coolie, go into exile for twenty years, or even commit suicide. It is part of his religion to pay off all he owes in the last week of the year, in order that he may begin the next one free from care and oblitatoin….

….The matter may be summed up in the remark that the expression “a debt of honor” in China is “a debt of duty,” and that one of their great maxims is “the highest good is the performance of every duty, even the humblest.”

Edward Bedloe, U.S. Consul, “Reports from the Consuls of the United States, Commerce, Manufactures, Etc., Vol. XLII, May, June, July and August, 1893”, U.S. Bureau of Foreign Commerce, Government Printing Office, Washington, 1893. pp. 500-503
www.amoymagic.com

Who Will Run Xiamen's Foreign Consulates?

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

Xiamen government seems to be taking the Field of Dreams approach in building its new "consulate district." "If you build it, they will come!" Or so they hope. Personally, I think they should have the consulates on Gulangyu Islet, where they used to be. While 100 years ago Gulangyu was the richest square mile on earth, today the government is struggling to break even, much less break a profit, on the tiny garden islet. Xiamen should abandon its periodic visions of transforming the former international settlement into a Chinese Disneyland and once again use Gulangyu's buildings for worthwhile purposes, such as consulates and schools. Of course, they haven't asked for my opinion...


Regardless of where the consulates are located, I do hope more countries open consuls here. It will be good for Xiamen, and good for the foreign countries as well. But newly arrived Consuls would do well to choose carefully their Chinese staff, lest locals not only dictate where consuls are located but also what goes on inside them as well! As MacGowan noted over a century ago, "weak-willed" foreign consuls can easily end up wrapped around the finger of their Chinese secretary, even as my household sometimes seems under the thumb of our helper of 20 years, the indefatigable Lixi! I hope you enjoy this amusing extract from John MacGowan's 1907 work, "Sidelights on Chinese Life" (1907, pp. 16,17).

Chinese in the Foreign Consulates
Perhaps the most conspicuous instance of the dominating influence of the Chinaman is seen in the foreign Consulates. In each of these there is a Chinese official employed that is called a writer. He is a gentleman and a member of the literary class. His duties are to write dispatches in Chinese to the mandarins and to be the one connecting link between the native authorities and the particular foreign Consul in whose service he happens to be. All petitions or complaints from the Chinese have to go through his hands, so that his position is one of great responsibility and power.

If the Consul happens to be a man of strong, independent character he will hold his own, and the business of the Consulate will be in a large measure under his own control.

If he is, however, easy-going or of average intellectual ability, he comes at once under the hypnotizing influence of the wily self-contained Chinaman, who before long becomes the master spirit in the office. This fact is so far realized by the leading mandarin of the place that he actually subsidizes him to influence the policy of the Consul to be favourable to him. A hostile writer could so easily influence his mind against the former, and cause such strained diplomatic relations, that he would incur the resentment of his superiors and be dismissed from his office.

I have known a case where the whole policy of a Consulate was dictated by the writer, who was a clever, intriguing scamp. All Chinese documents had to pass through his hands, and it depended upon the amount of the bribes received whether any of them got a dispassionate investigation at the hands of the Consul. His reputation became so bad that he was finally asked to resign, but he did so with a very comfortable fortune that enabled him to take a commanding position amongst the leading men in his neighbourhood.

In whatever direction one likes to take the Chinaman, he seems to have an hypnotic power that secures, if not favour, at least attention.
www.amoymagic.com

Melamine in Whiskas Cat food?

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

Has anyone else's pets died after eating Whiskas pet food? For a decade we bought Whiskas, and only Whiskas, by the case--until one cat died and another almost died--in 2007, the very time that Whiskas with melamine was discovered outside China.

The company denies that they have had any problems, and I'd like to believe it--yet USA Today and other sources have shown that Whiskas prepared in Thailand had melamine and cyanide from contaminated Chinese grains. So we should believe that Whiskas made in China never had problems, when my cats sickened at the same time as the problems elsewhere? Read what happened to our cats, and decide for yourself.

In 2007, our beloved old cat, whom we had for 12 years in Xiamen, became very ill at the same time as the younger one, with the same symptoms--gagging, coughing, throwing up. We thought it was hairballs and treated them, but it did not help. We then took them to the vet, but the vet did not know the cause. We never suspected food, because we trusted Whiskas, having fed them nothing but Whiskas for years (purchased by the case at Metro).

Finally, hearing of the problems with melamine in cat food, and that a Mars plant in Thailand that manufactured Purina and Whiskas had used Chinese grains that were contaminated with melamine and cynanide (check here for one source), we tried Optima, and the cats recovered some over a few weeks. But Optima, at least here, is very expensive, so we thought, just to be sure, we'd try Whiskas again. After all, we had used only Whiskas every since the cat was very young (we bought it by the case).

When we went back to Whiskas, within a few weeks both cats were again ill. We took them off Whiskas and tried Optima and Friskies, but it was too late for the older cat. It could not recover, and we had it put to sleep. It was skin and bones. The younger cat, over a couple months, recovered, though still is not quite the same.

I e-mailed Whiskas last year and they said they'd had no problem. But given the widespread melamine scares the past year, and that melamine has been found in everything from children's formula to coffee-mate and candy, it seemed to me that, in fact, Whiskas might also have used contaminated Chinese grains in China (as they did elsewhere). I e-mailed Whiskas again. It is too late for our cat, but hopefully other cats will not suffer the same.

A couple days ago, a lady from Whiskas in Beijing phoned, and was very apologetic, but insisted that Whiskas had taken this very seriously, and inspected their products, and had found nothing. Is this likely? If Whiskas used contaminated Chinese grain in Thailand, is it any less likely they'd use it (inadvertantly, of course) in China itself?

Given that we fed our cats nothing but Whiskas, and that both became ill with the same symptoms at the same time, that both recovered when taken off Whiskas, and that both became ill again when back on Whiskas, and that the old one did not recover but the younger one did when back on Optima (and Friskies now), does it not seem likely that Whiskas also was the victim of contaminated grains?

It is too late for my cat, but I hope other pet owners will not suffer the same experiences, and I wish I could believe that the firm in Beijing is being upfront--but it seems very unlikely.

If your pet too has become ill, or died, from Whiskas, let me know (amoybill AT gmail.com).

Bill http://www.amoymagic.com

Below is the info from the link above:
The tainted ingredients in the Asian incident came from a Mars plant in Thailand that manufactured Pedigree dog foods and Whiskas cat food. The culprit in the U.S. poisonings was Chinese grain that had been adulterated with the industrial chemicals melamine and cyanuric acid to make it appear higher in protein. The same contaminants were also found in feed for hogs, chicken and fish that had entered the U.S. food supply.

Mars researchers had linked the incidents even earlier -- in March 2007 -- after scientists figured out that melamine was involved in the U.S. contamination. Mars shared the information with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, but major veterinary groups including the American Veterinary Medical Association say no one informed them of the link.

The Georgia researchers' findings have worrisome long-term implications for both pets and people:

...[S]ublethal MARF [melamine-associated renal failure] could represent an important, previously unrecognized cause of chronic kidney disease in dogs and cats. Interestingly, the contaminated wheat gluten in the 2007 outbreak was a human food-grade product. The potential effects of ingestion of similarly contaminated material by people are unknown.
Link

www.amoymagic.com

What Teachers Make (Much more than Money!)

Bill Brown .... Xiamen University

Thanks, Joann Hill (who was born in Hope Hospital right here on Gulangyu Islet) for sending this to me today. I don't usually read, much less forward or post, such things--but this one hit home! :)

WHAT TEACHERS MAKE

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.

One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, 'What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?'

He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: 'Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.'

To stress his point he said to another guest;
'You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?'


Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, 'You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...)

'Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?' (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.)

''I make kids wonder.
I make them question.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything.

I make them read, read, read.
I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, One Nation Under God, because we live in the United States of America.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.'

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

'Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention
because they are ignorant... You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE . What do you make Mr. CEO?'

His jaw dropped, he went silent.

www.amoymagic.com

100 Chinese Surnames; Sorry--Wang Number

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

Sorry, Wang Number!
Adapted from "Magic Xiamen--Guide to Xiamen" (within China)
"Magic Xiamen--Guide to Xiamen" (outside China)

Chinese have about 8,000 surnames, with Han Chinese using about 3,050 of them. But roughly 87 percent of Han Chinese share the same 100 or so most common names—hence “the people” is expressed “Old 100 Names” (Lǎobǎixìng, 老百姓). The three most common surnames, Lǐ (李), Wáng (王), and Zhāng (张), are used by about 250 million Chinese—almost the population of the U.S.A.! Over 100 million people are surnamed Zhāng.

Just imagine if all Americans were Lǐ, Zhāng, or Wáng. You could dial the Wáng number 1/3 of the time! Do that to your girlfriend and she might give you the old “Dear Zhang Letter” (unless she gives you some Lǐ way).

Forty percent of Chinese share the 10 most common surnames. Zhang (张), Wáng (王), Lǐ (李), Zhào (赵), Chén (陈), Yáng (杨), Wú (吴), Liú (刘), Huáng (黄) and Zhōu (周). Chinese surnames are passed down through the father, but women keep their family name even after marriage.

In old days, it was a capital crime to speak the Emperor’s name aloud, or even to have the same name as the Emperor—which must have created havoc when the Emperor had the same name as 50 million others. When Liǔ Bāng (刘邦) became emperor during the Hàn Dynasty (汉朝 206 BC to 23 AD), people surnamed "Bāng" faced either a name change or a bang in the head (this was the Chinese Big Bāng Theory). This en masse name changing probably drove census takers out of their senses.

In more recent times, given names reflected parents' desire for their children's happiness—or for their political correctness. During the Great Proletariat Cultural Revolution, children were named “Flourishing China” (Xìngguó, 兴国), or “Build the Army” (Jiànjún, 建军), “Love Country” (?ihuá 爱华), or “National Day” (Guóqìng 国庆). And “Red”, of course, was a major theme of many names. Imagine naming your little one “Face the Red” (Cháohóng 朝红), Forever Red (Yonghong 永红), “Red Soldier” (Hóngbīng 红兵). No wonder so many of that generation saw red.

Nowadays parents are more likely to give names that emphasize economics over politics: Zhìfù (致富) means to get rich.

Generally, women’s names have words relating to beauty, nature, jewelry, etc. Examples: “Beautiful” (Měi 美), “Flower” (Huā 花) or “Graceful” (Tíng 婷 ). Men's names reflect strength or military bearing: “Steel” (Gang1 钢) or “Strong Pine” (Jin4song1 劲松).

In my youth, I too was nicknamed after a pine: knothead.

www.amoymagic.com

Windows 64 Crashes Firefox? How to fix it

Bill Brown . . Xiamen University

Lots of people are frustrated that after recent updates their Firefox is crashing, shutdown by Windows Data Execution Prevention (DEP). There are many suggestions, but most do not work. Shutting down DEP does not always work. Very frustrating, as Firefox is generally very reliable--and much faster than Internet Explorer, which I was forced to use until I found a solution. (If I was into conspiracy, I'd think Microsoft was deliberately creating updates to sabotage Firefox. Then again.... as Confucius once said, just because I'm paranoid does not mean people are not out to get me).

Also, there is an incompatibility with Bitdefender (the fftoolbar@bitdefender.com ) To date, there is no compatible bitdefender plug-in, and this will cause Firefox to crash.

The solution: download the Firefox 3.1 beta. It works fine. No crashes; just as fast as Firefox 3.0.4 , and it looks like the Firefox 3.1 will be out soon anyway.

Another alternative is to use Google Chrome, which seems to be a great browser, but it has both pros and cons.

Happy surfing.

Dr. Bill

www.amoymagic.com

Paint, Thinner and Vanilla

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

When we came to Xiamen in 1988, it took me weeks to learn that nutmeg (ròudòukòu, 肉豆蔻) and cinnamon (ròuguì, 肉桂) were sold only in Chinese medicine stores. Better yet, vanilla (xiāngcǎojīng 香草精) was sold only in paint stores! I asked why, and was told, by many Chinese, that paint, vanilla and thinner should be sold together because they are all chemicals.

Maybe they’re right. Peacock Brand Vanilla smelled like paint thinner, and when I put a match to a spoon of vanilla it exploded. After that I didn’t buy any more vanilla from paint stores. I’d already lost a lot of weight my first few months here and I didn’t need any thinner.
www.amoymagic.com

Long Arm of the ATM (in Xiamen Banks)

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

Xiàmén’s first ATM machines, in the mid-90s, were for closed during noon naps (Xiūxi休息). I told an official, “I think Xiamen just wants to look modern and our ATM’s are fake. A little peasant hiding inside hands out money, and he goes home for lunch.”

“Not true!” he protested. “These are real ATMs!”

“I was joking!” I said to the blustering banker, but he wasn’t mollified. Soon afterwards they started keeping ATMs open even at lunch.

I hope I didn’t cost the little guy his job.
www.amoymagic.com

Xiamen's Stairway to Heaven

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

Huáliǎn, aka Dōnghǎi (东海), was our first real department store, and also had the first escalator. We had endless fun watching old and young alike trying to gather the courage to ascend the moving stairs.

One day, as a crowd of burly dockworkers were daring each other to jump aboard, 3-year-old Shannon and I squeezed through the crowd and stepped boldly out where no Xiàmén peasant had gone before. As they watched Shannon run and skip up the escalator, one muscled man stamped out his cigarette, rolled up his sleeves, stepped onto the escalator—and fell flat on his face. Shannon laughed, pointed, and said, “Look at the funny man, dad!”

“It’s not polite to point, Shannon,” I said.

“Why not?” Shannon said. “Chinese point at us all the time!”


www.amoymagic.com

Media Notice from U.S. Consulate

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

New Website Highlights U.S.-Xiamen Ties

The U.S. Consulate General, Guangzhou, is pleased to announce the launch of a new website, American in Xiamen. The website highlights the current activities of the Consulate in Xiamen and demonstrates the close nature of the ties between America and Xiamen. The website address is:

中文: http://chinese.xiamen.usvpp.gov/

English: http://xiamen.usvpp.gov/

The “Events” section of the website provides pictures and descriptions of the Consulate’s most recent activities in Xiamen, including the Consulate’s meeting with Mayor Liu Cigui and participation in the most recent CIFIT. The “About Us” section of the website links to a welcome message from Consul General Robert Goldberg and to a continuing commentary on America-Xiamen connections by Officer-designee for Xiamen Gary Oba. Other sections contain useful links to information about U.S. visas, study in the U.S., U.S. citizen services, and the U.S. Foreign Commercial Service. The website is designed to serve as a useful beginning point for Xiamen residents who would like official information about the United States of America.

Officer-designee for Xiamen Gary Oba will next be in Xiamen on November 10-11, in Guangzhou on November 12, and in Fuzhou November 13-14. Individuals and media personnel interested in the activities of the Consulate are encouraged to frequently check the new website for the latest updates.

www.amoymagic.com

Coffee on Gulangyu (and hotels and hostels)

Bill Brown ...
Links: Gulangyu Hotels

John and Jennifer Anderson spent the better part of a month on Gulangyu, researching the work of John's parents in the 1930s (John was born on Gulangyu Islet in Hope Hospital).

Jennifer just sent this e-mail with suggestions for coffee places and accommodations on Gulangyu.

November 3rd, Mountain View, California

Dear Bill,

I'm a bit slow in getting this info to you- but here goes, with some comments that may be useful to others visiting Gulangyu in the near future:

For coffee -when John craved it after lunch- we found

Miss Zhao Cafe and Keepsake - on a corner of Longtou near the Produce Market. It had expensive coffee that was quite good (i.e. close to Italian), and a frowzy atmosphere- a bit like a bordello. The coffee was Y30. But it was a comfortable place to sit and watch the world go by.

Babycat Cafe- on the stretch of Longtou that includes Wonton Sister, but on the other side of the street, was very air-conditioned and rather sterile looking- all white. Their coffee was also Y30, I think- but they served some food too. And they have their own home-made Amoy Pies that are much better than the ones for sale at many stores around.

Judy's Cafe is a winner! It is small and personal, and Judy is interested in her customers. Her coffees are mostly Y22, the same price hot or cold. I had the most superb cold mocha coffee there. We went back several times- for lunch and/or coffee. She would sometimes give us something extra- e.g. some cut up persimmon, or a couple of apples, for free, and also offered to cook us dinner one evening. She doesnt generally serve dinner. Her cafe is at 79 Yongchun Lu, near its intersection with Quanzhou, a short distance up from the Yo-Yo Inn (#66 Quanzhou Lu)

Of course these Western style cafes serve relatively expensive western style lunches. We often ate street food for lunch or had some wonton soup at Wonton Sister. In the evening we went 3 times altogether to a little place at #64 Longtou Lu- I dont know its name but its in the same stretch of Longtou Lu as Babycat's and Wonton Sister and on the same side as Wonton Sister. The big advantage for us there was that there was a menu that was in both English and Chinese (and they didnt hide it or say there was no menu as happened at some of the seafood restaurants). It was quite inexpensive and had a good range of dishes (not much fish- mainly squid- called sleeve-fish on the menu) but a good variety of other dishes. So it was a good option when we were tired of eating (and paying higher prices for) seafood. It is also cleaner looking than many other restaurants around.

The Bay View Inn was inexpensive (when booked ahead on the internet through HostelWorld), but our room was very spare and small (you saw it). We liked the Yo-Yo Inn much better- also bookable using HostelWorld- but much more expensive (~$60 US for a room for two with a double bed versus ~$US20 for the 'same' at Bay View). We tried Naya Hotel (#12 Lujiao Lu) during our second stay- also inexpensive, but had a room with a bad drain smell, that was even more cramped than the room at Bay View, so we decamped after one night and were able to get into the Yo-Yo for the rest of our time on Gulangyu. The Naya did give us most of money back. And we quite liked it for a western style dinner once in a while. We met a Canadian couple who were happy staying there, but I think they had a room on an upper floor.

The Yo-Yo was Y388 per night and very clean in a revamped old house- so it has a nice style to it - the room was large and had lots of good places to put things - a certain amount of feminine decorative touches, which was nice too. Because it was up the hill a little it was quieter most of the time (but not when there was repair work being done on the building next door). They provided a breakfast (at 8:30 am) of rice porridge with some meat floss, and vegetable and pickle, which was quite tasty (but repetitive- nothing like the variety offered at the Sunshine Hotel in Fuzhou of course). I would stay there again- its close enough but not too close to downtown. It's owned by a couple of young women who were very pleasant and sensible.

The Naya had the best internet connection (in our Gulangyu experience) and Yo-Yo the worst- but Yo-Yo has a pleasant balcony on each floor and a nice front porch where the connection was better.

Philip Wang was horrified that we were paying so much for accommodation and showed us a couple of other places- further up the hill, and cheaper- also very nice and clean- but a little too far away from 'the action'. But we decided not to move yet again. They are:
1) Silly Girl Coffee my home hotel at 1-1 Jishan Lu (not that much further up the hill than the Yo-Yo). It had rooms that were quite comparable to those at the Yo-Yo, for Y360. And its in its own garden which is pleasant. (www.xilinge-hotel.cn) We had had coffee there one day and lunch another- the noodle soup was good and reasonably priced.
2) Piano and Sea Manor, right beside Ji Shan itself (www.piasea.com). It seems that all of its double rooms have twin beds and cost Y230, and on the top floor there was a suite with two such rooms and a central sitting room complete with piano for Y400 per night- it also had a bathroom off the rooftop balcony, plus an open to the sky bath-tub!

I havent checked the websites myself- they are just from the cards we were given when we visited these two places with Philip.

All the best

www.amoymagic.com

Learning Hokkien in Old Xiamen

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
Excerpts from Carstairs' Amoy Dictionary
Click here for "Why Xiamen was called Amoy"

When Xiamen folk ask, "How did you learn Chinese?" I respond, "I picked it up off the streets over the years--and have been trying to put it back..." This usually gets blank stares, so I add, in typical Chinese self-deprecating fashion, "My Chinese is not really that good. And after 20 years even a parrot could pick it up!"

That sometimes gets a bit of a laugh--but I doubt even a parrot could learn Amoy.

I can envision a bright parrot picking up Mandarin, but not the nasal eight-toned Amoy Dialect (also called Minnan Dialect, Hokkien, Taiwan Dialect, etc.). In fact, the mere attempt can lead to insanity--at least according to Desmond Neill, a British army officer serving in Malay and the British Ministry of Labour in Singapore. He was sent to Kulangsu in the late 1940s to learn Hokkien.

Below are excerpts from Neill's absolutely delightful account of studying Hokkien in Amoy, ("Elegant Flower - First Steps in China", John Murray, London, 1956).

[pp. 7,8] Early May 1948 and the day for departure to Amoy had arrived. My ship, evidently not important enough to command a berth alongside the harbor, was anchored somewhere in the Roads behind an imposing array of other steamers, billowing clouds of black smoke in preparation for their sailing. Near Clifford Pier lay a disorderly armada of small sampans, which bobbed up and down on the languid waves like discarded coconut shells, manned by Chinese who scrutinized each new arrival with an eagle’s eye for a fare.

‘Where are you off to?’ shouted one in Malay.

‘To Amoy,’ I replied in my best Hokkien. The man looked blank. He did not understand. Those six months had been wasted.

Filled with a desire to apply my newly acquired knowledge, I made another attempt, concentrating desperately on the right pronunciation. The boatman’s leathery face wreathed with a smile as a new understanding slowly dawned on him. In a flash, all the other Chinese on the pier within hearing distance had gathered around. With grinning enquiring faces they fired question … I became tongue-tied. They chuckled in amusement at my silence. I wanted terribly to explain, tell them I was going to the land of their forefathers.
‘To Amoy,’ I explained.
‘Eee! Aiyaah!’
‘To learn Hokkien….’
‘A Red-Haired speaking Hokkien lah!’ guffawed two or three in a full-throated chorus…’

[On disembarking in Amoy]… ‘Here’s how!’ bellowed the Captain. ‘Come and see us when we return and don’t go round the bend trying to learn this outlandish language.’

...There are seven distinct tones in Hokkien and several hundred monosyllabic noises which go, singly or in combination, to make up the spoken language, with nasal and aspirate variations. The nasal twang would come through with commendable mellifluousness for someone slightly adenoidal or with a cold in the head. …Correctness of tone pronunciation and tone changes was of prime importance for there was only a slight different in modulation, for instance, between returning to China and pawning a pair of long trousers.

…the first few days rolled into weeks of heartbreaking despair as I struggled with Mr. Lim and with the tones, noises and sounds that seemed to make up no pattern, no harmony, and had little meaning for anyone. Simple sentences were understood by shopkeepers or boatmen, but in the middle of lengthier explanations and conversations, a word would slip the memory or a tone mispronounced and in my sympathetic auditor would break out into a hurried and incomprehensible suggestion of what I was perhaps endeavouring to say. At last, however, the jumbled pieces began to fit slowly together. It was like hearing an orchestral concert, prefaced first by the screeching of violins and cellos being tuned up to the right key, with Mr. Lim as the unruffled conductor. But never did an orchestra take so long to tune up.

LEARNING CHARACTERS LEADS TO INSANITY [p. 36]
The memorizing of characters was a strain largely on the retentiveness of memory, helped by a little ingenuity in writing every character out on a blank visiting card….To help memorize a character one was tempted to draw it out on the hand on in thin air with a finger. It was on these occasions that outside observers immediately diagnosed that incipient insanity which is prognosticated for anyone learning Chinese.

...Litigation for instance is made up of two dogs fighting with words [Yu4] , and I have often wondered if the traditional Chinese aversion to the formality of the law courts did not give rise to the idea of litigation in this way. Peace is signified with a woman under a roof, and discord with two women under it.
www.amoymagic.com

Note: Márquez’s Gramática española-china del dialecto de Amoy is considered one of the oldest manuals on a local dialect!

United States Consulate in Xiamen China ?

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

Yesterday, at the Xiamen Millennium Harbourview Hotel, I was delighted to meet Mr. Gary Oba, who is from the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou, and assigned to Fujian Province and Xiamen. And if things work out, we may finally have another U.S. Consulate in Xiamen in a couple years! During his visit last year, U.S. Ambassador Randt mentioned the U.S. would like a consulate here, but it did not seem likely. But this visit, Mr. Oba said, "Xiamen is next on the list." Of course, there are political and financial issues to work out. China has not yet agreed to it, and Washington has not funded it yet--but if the U.S. gets another consulate in China, it will be here.

That will be a great boon to Xiamen, but also to the U.S.. Here are a few reasons that I think we again need a consulate in Xiamen:

!. The U.S. has a long history of cooperation with Xiamen--from the 1840s to the 1940s.
2. Xiamen and Fujian people have for centuries been recognized as being very open to outsiders (Chinese and foreign) and cooperative, and Xiamen people have an especially good attitude about the U.S. because the U.S. helped China in many areas. It was the U.S. that early on tried to put a halt to the coolie trade, and the U.S. was one of the first Western powers to stop trading in Opium. (When they did that, the Chinese Viceroy said, "This is the first time I've seen a "Christian" country in the West practice what it preached!").
3. The U.S., through missionaries, businessmen and diplomats in the Xiamen U.S. Consulate, helped support and pioneer modern Chinese medicine, education, arts, sports, etc.
4. The U.S. helped China fight the Japanese during the war. We had an air base in Longyan, and when U.S. pilots were shot down near Xiamen, in Tong'an, locals rescued the pilots and hid them from the Japanese.
So the U.S. and Xiamen and Fujian have a history together. But today...
5. Fujian has great potential as Beijing pours on the rhetoric and pours in the funds to promote the province as the West bank of the Taiwan Straits development Zone.
6. Fujian is ideally located for trade, between Hong Kong and Shanghai and facing Taiwan.
7. As mainland and Taiwan ties improve, Xiamen will be increasingly strategic.
8. Most overseas Chinese are from southern Fujian province, many from Xiamen. As it becomes more difficult to do business in other areas of China (because of the currency, and increased cost of Chinese labor), many of the overseas Chinese will move their factories from Guangdong and Shanghai to Fujian--because this is their ancestral home, they can get better terms here, and even if they can't, they often own the land in Fujian, and are more willing to take lower profits "at home" than they would in other areas of China.
9. Xiamen is a rich source of educated labor. Xiamen University is China's only key university in a special economic zone, and Jimei College Town is projected, within a few years, to have 200,000 students and faculties in its various colleges and universities.
10. Xiamen is a delightful place to live and work, so U.S. consul officials, I'm quite sure, would enjoy being here, even without the above 9 advantages.

Okay, I could go on, of course. For example, I could talk about the amazing entrepreneurial bent of Fujian people, and how the maritime Silk Route started from here (Quanzhou, just to the North--the legendary port visited by Sinbad), etc.... But my point is--it would be very strategic for the United States to have a consulate in Xiamen--and it would be of great benefit to the Chinese as well, as they try promote their "business abroad" policies.

If only they could open the new U.S. consualte on Gulangyu Islet, in the original red brick building!

www.amoymagic.com

Ahoy from Amoy (Common Talk Highlights)

by Bill Brown
Xiamen University

Ahoy from Amoy!

A summary of news from this Week's Common Talk (Xiamen Daily's weekly English supplement, which is the first of its kind, and has gone international):

Cover story: "Gulangyu graced with poetry!"

"The third session of the Gulangyu Poem Festival kicked off on Gulangyu last Saturday, where over 80 renowned poets across the country met and shared their poetry and literary beliefs."

Renowned poets? Why wasn't I invited? I'm a poet, and I know it (though I blow it when I show it). Seriously, can you not read my epic poem about the true story of Amoy Vampires and not be moved? Or, at the least, want to move--far away, perhaps?

And "sharing literary beliefs?" I can imagine how that went.

"Yes, I'm professor Hong, and I'm honored to be here and share why I believe in the noun and the verb but eschew the adverb."

Or perhaps Doctor Dong waxed eloquent upon why verbs move him? Or Miss Tang shared how adjectives made her feel? Or....

Now I know why I was not invited to the Gulangyu Poem Festival.

America's Milk Scandal! So you thought it was just China? Common Talk reprinted an article from the New York Times that revealed American milk producers were killing up to 8,000 babies every year, for decades, with milk that contained swill milk, plaster of paris and starch and eggs, etc. Of course, this was 150 years ago. But it took decades to stop it. So the upshot was that what is happeing in China is bad but it's what happens in any rapidly developing country when the government cannot keep up. Of course, the government had a hard time keeping up with the biggest culprits because it had exempted them from inspections.

I appreciated the quote from a leading Chinese dairy's Vice manager last week. "We've learned an important lesson from this. We must provide the public quality, safe, and healthy foods." As if he did not know that before?

But today, Sue and I threw out our remaining bags of Nestle milk powder. It appears Nestle milk powder has malamine in it. An article quoted Nestle in Hong Kong as saying they've no idea how the melamine got in there but it's only a little bit so its okay.

How could even a little bit of a chemical used for plastics end up in milk?

By the way, I was with Alan Smith, of the Livcom Awards, in Shanghai a couple weeks ago, touring a brand new housing development. Alan asked why the new swimming pool was empty and I said it was because they founbd melamine in the water. The officials said, "That's not true!"

No sense of humor.

Xiamen Wal-mart, by the way has been having big sales on milk powder--piles of the stuff, and people with loudspeakers urging people to buy it. Trust-mart is doing the same thing. TV Commercials show smiling Chinese officials with milk moustaches holding glasses of milk.

Still, I'm switching to soy milk. Though who knows what is in soy milk. About a decade ago, Xiamen Daily announced that Xiamen's tofu makers had been filling out their tofu with plaster that they had obtained from recycled plaster casts bought from Xiamen hospitals.

Not sure why everyone complained. With global warming, aren't we supposed to be recycling?

Xiamen University invents Anti-Cancer Drug -- a surefire cure for cancer! It's a "compound that can turn a cancer cell-protecting protein in the human body into a cancer cell killer."

Hey, I think Sichuan cuisine can kill cancer as well--at least any cancer in the tract that leads from mouth to posterior.

I remember about 15 years ago China Daily had a spate of articles about how Chinese medicine had been proven to cure cancer. They also said it had cured AIDS. Those articles went on for months and then nothing more was said about these miraculous cures. Fortunately, given what I know of Xiamen University's Life Sciences department and bio-chemical research, I think XMU's claim to having developed a cancer cure may have more substance to it.

School Principals Swapped! Common Talk said 15 primary and secondary schools in Beijing have come to Xiamen to study local educational practices because Xiamen is a "leader in China in primary education, especially in curricular reform, quality of instructions and extracurricular activities." I guess in Xiamen good primary education is just elementary. Especially if it is at Xiamen International School! This is a free plug for them, by the way).

Quanzhou will host cultural exchanges with Taiwan, including Gaojia opera, Hui'an hand puppets, and Quanzhou marionettes, or "Quanzhou string puppets," as they put it. I'm sure there are strings attached to the exchange program as well.

Common Talk also announced the results of the 2008 Ig Nobel prizes, held on October 2nd at Harvard University, to recognize scientific experiments that "cannot or should not be reproduced." The winners included research in France proving dog fleas jump higher than cat fleas, Swiss scientists got the peace price for recognizing the legal principle that plants have dignity. The cognitive prize went to the Japanese who proved that slime molds can find their way out of a maze (this should encourage some of the low life that lives in our back alleys here). The chemistry prize went to two researchers who tested Coca-cola as a spermicide (one wonders how they tested it, and if they shook it up first). Two archaeologists measured how much an armadillo can mess up a dig. Etc.

Further news: NASA's Rhessi spacecraft has put a different spin on our understanding of the sun with the bright revelation that the sun is not perfectly round. During years of high solar activity it bulges at the middle. (I do the same thing).




The Quanzhou International Club just sent this announcement"

The 6th China National Peasant's Games will be held in Quanzhou starting on Sunday, 26th October 2008 and end on Saturday, 1st November 2008.
This Gala National Event would be akin to China¡¯s own Olympic Sports held every four years but certain events would be held with a difference. Some events would have a peasant and/or agricultural twist such as water-carrying race; seedling-throwing and 60-metre seedling-transplanting competition
We are attaching the games event schedule together with the venue of each sport. Note that the games will be held not only in Quanzhou City but also in JinJiang; Nan¡¯an; Hui An; Chong Wu; Shishi.
Unfortunately, attendance for the OPENING and CLOSING CEREMONIES are by Invitation Only. We asked if tickets for these two events may be purchased but we are told tickets are distributed to businesses, sponsors and local government. So if you have some connections with these, go for it!!

All other events are OPEN and FREE to the Public. We are trying to get confirmation this is indeed the case also for the finals in Basketball; Track & Field; Wushu and Dragon & Lion Dance. We will let you know if we can get confirmation from the organizers.
Please find in attachment a calendar of the games, a brief introduction of the 6th and the 5th China National Peasant¡¯s Games, a reference map showing locations of the downtown venues, and a picture of mascot Tongtong and logo of the games.








www.amoymagic.com

Art of Chinese Mini-Bussing

The Arcane Art of Mini-Bussing

Adapted from Amoy Magic -- Guide to Xiamen and Fujian

Our first long distance bus trip, to neighboring Zhangzhou and back, was supposed to take 1½ to 2 hours, but that obviously didn’t include the hour they spent packing us on the mini-bus. If only we could have figured out which bus was leaving first.

One would think the fullest bus would pull out first, but not so. Sometimes a half empty bus will race off, the strategy being to pick up more victims down the highway, while a bus that is packed to the gills like a sardine tin might wait another half hour to find some soul willing to fry their fanny on the blistering engine cover. On a 30 seat bus, they can cram 50 victims, who sit on laps, or stand, or squat on tiny bamboo stools in the aisles.

The ticket hawkers all squawk in unison, “Hurry up! We’re leaving right now!” And drivers inch forward a few feet to prove time is of the essence. “Aiyah!” they scream. “Kuai Lai!”

I asked one lady, “Do you have A/C?”

“Of course! See the sign? Get on quick! We’re leaving!”
Sue and I scrambled aboard and squeezed into a tiny seat in the back, between two farmers and their baskets of carrots, cabbage and Chinese celery. The ticket seller snatched my money and the driver switched off the engine.

“I thought you were leaving right now?”

“As soon as the bus is full,” she said.

“It’s packed now,” I argued. But she ignored me like yesterday’s news, and stuck her head out the window like a turtle straining from its shell for a feeble-minded fly, and she screamed at all and sundry, “Hurry up! Get on board. We’re leaving now!”

Several passengers snickered, and I knew I had been had.

A youth who was obviously wiser than I eyed the bus suspiciously and said, “You’ve not filled up the aisle yet.”

The ticket lady rolled her eyes. “Of course we haven’t. We’ll pick up more people down the road. The driver started his engine and inched forward. The youth puffed his chest and led his girl onto the bus, sat on a bamboo stool in the aisle, forked over his 20 Yuan, and the driver switched the ignition off.

“Hey, you said we’re leaving now!” But the agent was again deaf, dumb and blind. I could barely keep from joining the snickers.

Twain’s Duke and Dauphin would have been proud.

Fully 45 minutes after we had been told, “Hurry, we’re leaving!” the van lurched off down the road. I asked the ticket lady, “Why haven’t you turned on the air conditioning?”

“Open windows are cool enough when we’re moving.”

“But you said the bus has A/C!”

“It does!” she said, “But we don’t use it when we’re moving.”

Snicker, snicker, all around me.

The bus slowed every few minutes as the ticket hawker poked her head from her yellow shell and screamed, “Get on board. Plenty of seats! Hurry!” One wily peasant dubiously eyed the collage of faces peering dolefully from the windows like nonAryans on the cattle car to Auschwitz. He timorously put one foot, clad in Playboy socks and plastic flip flops, onto the rusted bus step. The lady grabbed him by the collar, yanked him inside, slammed the door, and said, “Ten Yuan!”

“You said there was plenty of room!”

“There is room,” she said, and pointed to the battery box, which was coated in greenish gray cottony corrosion and grease, and squeezed between the hot engine cover and the wheel well.

Those of us with enough room to expand our rib cages snickered softly.
There was no order to her people packing, so every time the bus stopped to disgorge a victim, we reshuffled the deck of dog-eared bodies; parents lost children, husbands lost wives; one lost a wallet. But we made it to Zhangzhou in one piece, more or less.

After a pleasant afternoon in Zhangzhou, we returned to the bus stop, where we saw a bus inching forward. The sweetest little granny shouted, “Hurry, we’re leaving.”

“Susan, this old granny can’t be like the rogue on the last bus. They really are leaving.” We boarded the bus, paid our pesos, and the driver cut the engine. We sweltered for 20 minutes until sweet old granny had packed her bus.

Susan snickered.
When we reached home that night we discovered that we had been gallivanting about the countryside on Friday the 13th.

Someday I’ll write about China's Saturday the 14th....

Bill Brown
Xiamen University
www.amoymagic.com

Froggy Food in China

When I phoned the well-known Professor, Ji Yuhua, a few days ago, he said, "Ha! Good timing! I was just rereading your article in "Magic Xiamen" about frog pee and frog spit!" ...

"Never try to catch two frogs with one hand." Chinese Proverb

Froggy Food A Chinese friend removed from his kitchen cabinet a plastic baggie of about four ounces of a grayish, stringy dried matter, rather like a finely shredded sponge. “Only 210 RMB,” he said, beaming delightedly. “My brother brought it straight from the mountains!”

This expensive gray stuff was a rare Chinese medicine and cooking ingredient, second in efficacy only to bird’s nests (made from dry swallow spit). It was dry frog spit. Not just any frog spit, mind. It was that of a rare mountain frog, and collected only during a very brief season in the spring.

It seemed that everyone had frogs on the brain. A few days later our Xiamen University MBA Center invited me to lunch with a group of Provincial leaders who were taking my night courses. They complimented me on my lectures, though one confessed he wasn’t sure if I was contributing to China’s modernization or sabotaging it. Halfway through the meal, the waitress set in front of me a shot glass full of a bright, evil looking ruby liquid. It was redder than the inside lining of Dracula’s cape, and shimmered with a life of its own. I suspected it wasn’t V-8 Juice.
“What is this?” I asked.
“Oh, that’s the blood of a rare mountain frog. It is second in potency only to the blood of …”
“No thanks, I’ll pass.”
“But Professor Pan, you’re the guest of honor!”
“I have no honor. You drink it!”
Eventually the rankest person present took the small cup in both hands, ceremonially offered it to each diner, then downed it in one gulp and smacked his lips.
The waitress then handed me a cup of pale yellow liquid. “What’s this?” I demanded. “Frog pee? Second only to—”
“—Of course not,” she said in disgust. “It’s beer.”
Frog blood, beer, cobra venom (I’ve had it).
I wish they’d stick to tea…

Bill Brown

Xiamen University

www.amoymagic.com

Millennium Harbourview Hotel Xiamen (Xiamen's Best Hotel)

Xiamen has hundreds of quality hotels but the best is Xiamen's oldest international hotel--the Millennium Harbourview Hotel Xiamen. Here's why.

#1 Service. Many of the top managers have served here since it's opening 15 years ago. These experienced leaders in the hotel industry are committed to providing the best experience possible for their clients. To do this, they offer unsurpassed training (even a newly hired dishwasher, in his 50s, told me he received several weeks training about the hotel!). At Millennium Harbourview, if you need it, they have it--or will find a way to provide it.

#1 Location. A couple weeks ago an American government delegation visited the 2008 China International Fair for Investment and Trade (CIFIT), and stayed at the Sheraton. The Sheraton is nice, to be sure--but the location...? The Americans complained, "Nothing to do out there!" So the last day they moved to the Millennium Harbourview, and were delighted by its downtown location--only a 5 minute walk to Zhongshan Rd. (our Main Street, and a great area to stroll or shop), and only a ten minute walk to the Gulangyu Ferry.

#1 Exquisite Chinese and International Cuisine! The Millennium Harbourview Xiamen has several of Xiamen's top restaurants--the best Western buffet in town (can't beat their breakfast), the incomparable Portofino (Italian), the Japanese Sakura, the Chinese Loong Yuen (excellent Cantonese, vegetarian, etc.). You'll also enjoy watching their Wizard of Pasta rolling in the dough!

Visit our Millennium Harvourview Xiamen page for more details--and then visit our family favorite hotel for a night, or a week--or settle down!

Reservations: 0086-592-2023333-6233/6668
Front Desk: 0086-592-2023333 FAX: 2036666
Add: 12-8 Zhēnhǎi Lù 镇海路12-8号
Email: bc@millenniumxiamen.com
Official Website: http://millenniumxiamen.com/en/index.asp

Enjoy Amoy!

Why Chinese Dogs are Shy

Every time Sue and I took our early morning walks around the little town of Reedley, California, dogs fences barked and howled and frothed at the mouth, pawing at the wood or chain link fences, ready to attack; one little poor excuse of a dog did chase us down, nipping at Sue's heels--even as the owner watched and smiled.

But dogs aren't so vicious here in China--at least in Xiamen. Some bark and howl, but it lacks the vicious undertone--perhaps because Chinese dogs know their place. Unlike arrogant, American dogs, Chinese dogs know they could just as easily end up in the kitchen as in the SPCA (Click Here for Canine Cuisine).

In America we say it is "raining cats and dogs," but not in China, because dogs would hit the woks long before they hit the ground. A Hakka man told me that during the war with Japan, Chinese soldiers so craved their potatoes 'n puppies that they'd sell their sleeping bags or tent for a feast of canine cuisine. (Probably sold their pup tents).

Chinese often ask why I came to China and I often reply, "Because Chinese food is too expensive in America." And I do delight in having, daily, great Chinese food that doesn't cost and arm and a leg (though the Taiwan headhunters 100 years ago might have charged that). And I've eaten almost everything imaginable, it seems, including Xiamen people's favorite--jellyfish and seaworms. Chinese eat anything edible, and if it isn't edible, they ingest in anyway and call it medicine. But I've never eaten dog, and never will. My sons Shannon and Matt have. They've even ordered it (poor guys have been here too long). But I draw the line at dogs--and cats too.

But let it be known back in Reedley, California, that the next time my wife and I go for a walk, I'm taking a wok and cleaver with me. There's a first time for everything, and pit bull might be just fine as barbeque pit bull.

Enjoy Amoy!
Dr. Bill www.amoymagic.com

These are the Magi--Gift-Giving in China

Adapted from "Magic Xiamen--Guide to Xiamen & Fujian"

He who gives when he is asked has waited too long. Chinese Proverb

The Art of Chinese Gift-giving It is written that the wise men who brought gifts to the Christ child came from the East. I suspect they meant China, because 1) you can't get any further East than China, and 2) Chinese have raised giving to an art form.

Our first Christmas in China, our elderly dean gave our two sons a toy electric car that set him back at least a week's wages. Two months later, on Chinese New Year, a teacher gave each of our sons a Hongbao (Red Envelope) stuffed with 100 rmb-a small fortune by that teacher's standards. Any doubts on the importance of gifts in China vanished when I read Lesson 38 in, "Modern Chinese Beginner's Course." The correct response to an impromptu invitation to a Chinese friend's home was, "But we haven't brought any gift.

Gift giving rituals vary around China. Tibetans give a white silk scarf, while Hainan Islanders place a lei of flowers over guests' shoulders. In Xiamen, the most common gifts are bags of fruit or packages of our local Oolong tea.

Xiamen folk avoid giving odd numbers of gifts. It must be two bottles of Chenggang medicinal wine, not one or three bottles, or 4 boxes of Tiekuanyin tea, never three or five. The gifts must be proffered respectfully with two hands, and accepted with two hands.

Americans have no qualms in giving an inexpensive gift or card to convey a sentiment because it's the thought that counts. But not in China, where face is everything, and a small or trifling gift may be worse than no gift at all. Conversely and perversely, the larger the gift, the more face for both parties. Over the years, our face has been lifted more times than Elizabeth Taylor's.

Guests have materialized on our threadbare astroturf welcome mat with 50 bananas, or 30 pounds of roasted Longyan peanuts, or 15 pounds of freshly caught fish, or 4 dozen freshly fried home-made spring rolls. We've protested, futilely, that 50 pounds of bananas will rot before we can finish them off. In the end, we either go on banana binges or make a quick pilgrimage to a Chinese colleague's home with a second-hand gift of bananas, tea, dried mushrooms or fresh fish. They probably pass them off too, but somewhere down the line some soul has to get 50 pounds of bananas down the hatch.

Where's the Beef? We had some knotty experiences until we learned the ropes of Chinese gift giving. Shortly after we moved into Chinese professor's housing, Susan baked chocolate cake, which at that time few Xiamen folk had tried. She gave our neighbor a couple of slices to sample, and the astonished granny thanked her profusely and shut her door slowly, politely. Next morning, bright and early, she rapped on our door, and thrust a plate full of beef in Sue's face. She said, "For you," and beat a hasty retreat, ignoring Susan's protests.

"This is terrible, Bill," Sue said. "She should not have done that."

"This is great, Sue." I retorted. "Two pounds of beef costs a lot more than two slices of cake. Think how much we'll save on meat if we give cake to all our neighbors."

Now I know why Marie Antoinette gave everyone cake.

It is Cheaper to Give Than to Receive Nowadays, we are more careful (though not paranoid!) with gift-giving, because it can be costly for all concerned. Those whom we give gifts feel compelled to reciprocate, whether they can afford it or not. As for receiving gifts… they sometimes have more strings than ribbons. But all things considered, I still think Chinese are the Magi-particularly where family and homeland are concerned.

Giving to the Motherland When overseas Chinese labored in abject poverty in the mines and fields of Africa and Colonial Asia, or to build American railroads, they invariably sent a large portion of their meager earnings home to family. It was these pittances, multiplied a million fold, that kept China afloat when we were bleeding her dry through the opium trade. Some laborers became industrial magnates, like Tan Kak Kee, and donated millions to China. Even today, regardless of political persuasions, overseas Chinese continue to remit millions annually not only to their mainland relatives but to local governments to build schools, colleges, orphanages, and roads.

Chinese, rich and poor alike, are a generous people. A lowly mason who lives in a shack nearby gave me 5 pounds of freshly netted fish because he heard my in-laws were visiting from America. A disabled, retired campus laborer shows up occasionally with fresh greens from his garden, or new flowers for our yard. When word got around that I wanted a stone mill to grind wheat, several peasants headed to the rural stone quarries, and we were blessed with not one mill but three (never again will I take wheat for granite).

The mason, the disabled laborer, the peasants, sought nothing in return. They gave because we were friends-like the poor bicycle repairman who repeatedly insists, "It's a small thing. Pay me when you have a real problem to fix." The man's entire world is but a tiny, dusty shop only 8 feet wide and 4 feet deep. Greased bike chains and sprockets, rims and tires and tubes, bike seats and pedals hang from nails on the walls. His furniture consists of two bamboo stools, one for himself and one for customers, and a bamboo footstool that doubles as a table for his cheap tea set, which he sets up every time I stop by. He has spent more serving me tea than he will ever make from fixing my battered bicycle.

Chinese have always given sacrificially to family and their immediate community, but charity beyond that was rare, for it was seen as depriving family and local community of scarce resources. But times are better now, and Beijing is seeking to widen the scope of giving.

Half a dozen programs encourage wealthier urbanites to help their less fortunate and far more numerous comrades in the countryside. Every year, "Project Hope" (????) allows millions of urban Chinese to help fund poor rural children's education. And "Helping Hand" pairs up city kids and country kids, who write to each other and exchange gifts.

Get involved!
Many foreign firms and individuals have participated in campaigns like Project Hope. For details on how to get involved, contact your Chinese colleagues or the municipal government. You can even arrange with local governments to help sponsor schools or poorer students. Opportunities are limited only by your imagination and your purse.

Gold Rats and Oxen A Ming Dynasty Tale (1368-1644) On his birthday, an official's subordinates chipped in to give him a life-sized solid gold rat, since he was born in the year of the rat (each year of a twelve year cycle has a different animal). The official thanked them, then asked, "Did you know that my wife's birthday is coming up? She was born in the year of the ox."