Thursday, March 31, 2016

Euro-English (5-Year "Simplified English" Plan from Germany)

When the Queen of England revoked U.S.' Independence last week, she ordered Microsoft to eliminate it's Spellchecker's "U.S. English--but the Queen's own English is also being axed, or whittled down, thanks to Germany's 5-Year Euro-English Proposal. What goes around comes around. Dr, Bill, Xiamen Univ. MBA

Euro--English 5-Year-Plan (read to the end!)The European Commission just announced that English, not German, will be the EU's official language.  But as part of the negotiations, Britain conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and accepted a 5- year phase-in plan for "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards will have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. 

Enjoy Amoy!

Dr. Bill Brown, Xiamen University MBA Center
Academic Director, SMXMU OneMBA

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