Friday, March 20, 2009

Xiamen-Hotel California of China (1860s)

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
Our family expected to spend a year or two in Xiamen and we're still here 21 years later, but Xiamen has been the "Hotel California of China" since at least the 1860s. You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave--and probably won't want to!
Enjoy Amoy!
Dr. Bill

Why Seven Becomes Fourteen!
From Boehm, Lise, “China Coast Tales,” Kelly and Walsh Limited, Shanghai, 1897. “In the Sixties,” Part 1, page 1-3 pp. 7,8

As everyone in China knows, at the end of his first seven years of service a Customs Assistant may apply for two years' leave on half-pay, which period he may spend anywhere usually "at home," viz. Europe his return passage to China being paid for him. But of those Assistants who may take their leave, under such favourable conditions, there are a great many who do not find themselves in a position to do so, and this in spite of having received regular and excellent pay during their period of service. At the end of his first seven years in China a man has often saved nothing, his brain having been turned by the mere possession of money, seemingly inexhaustible to one who has perhaps been brought up in narrow circumstances. Or, he has been bitten rabidly by what is known as "Sinology," and lives, speaks, thinks, and dreams of nothing but the Chinese language and literature. Or, he has been drawn into the ring of speculators, and has risked, even if he has not lost, all his savings in strange and wonderful mines and companies. Or, he is drinking himself into an untimely grave. And as it is far easier to live on nothing at all, and to die leaving your family to your friends, or to be a Chinese student, or to be a speculator, or to be a hard drinker, in the East than in the West, the man of seven years generally stays out fourteen.

note from Bill...
There you have it, folks! Even 150 years ago, Xiamen was the Hotel California of China! But what a delightful place to be stuck.
Enjoy Amoy!
www.amoymagic.com

Spring Cleaning in Xiamen, 1860s

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
While working on my "Old Xiamen in Foreigners' Eyes" book, I came across Lise Boehm's delightful account of Spring Cleaning in Amoy in the 1860s....
Enjoy Amoy!

Boehm, Lise, “China Coast Tales,” Kelly and Walsh Limited, Shanghai, 1897. “In the Sixties,” Part 1, page 1-3
…a grand cleaning, scrubbing and dusting had been going on for a fortnight in the house of the Commissioner of Imperial Maritime Customs, Amoy, South China.

Now the Commissioner was a man who usually left his servants to do just as much, or as little, as they chose to do. His was precisely the establishment a Chinaman delights in, where there is no troublesome "missisy" to demand monthly, weekly, or even daily accounts, to compare expenses with some experienced friend, and to generally make herself obnoxious. Provided his meals were served punctually, Mr. Watkins was fairly indifferent as to what he was made to swallow. Provided his own particular armchair held together, he did not care if the rest of his furniture was allowed to crumble away through neglect or white ants.

Such was the normal state of Mr. Watkins and of Mr. Watkins' household for eleven months in every year.

But when the twelfth month, marked in the calendar as May, came round, the aspect of the great dreary house on the top of the hill changed. Every available coolie, both in Mr. Watkins' house and in his office, every Customs boatman, every watchman, every odd man, was pressed into the work of cleaning.

The odour of carbolic fluids, of patent soaps and insect-destroying powders pervaded the whole compound, and made the house smell like the disinfecting ward of a hospital. Scrubbing cloths and dusting brushes, sufficient to last an ordinary Chinese household for a generation, were recklessly given out. Mosquito-nets were repaired, centipedes and lizards were terrified from their resting places, boxes of stores arrived from Hongkong, the official servants received fresh uniforms, and Mr. Watkins himself spent a whole day picking out white trousers, and coats which were neither frayed at the cuffs, nor shaky about the buttonholes, nor badly ironmoulded. For Mrs. Ratcliff was expected for her yearly visit.

Everybody in China knew Mrs. Ratcliff, or at any rate knew all about her…. (read the book to find out just what everyone knew about her, and why her annual pilgrimage to Mr. Watkin's home in Amoy so titillated the foreign community...
And, again, Enjoy Amoy!

www.amoymagic.com

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Xiamen 4th of July, 1891

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
With the U.S.'s increased presence in Xiamen (former Amoy), and 4th of July only a few months away, I was startled this afternoon, while working on my book about Xiamen history, to come across this article about a 4th of July celebration in Xiamen in 1891. What is really amazing are the Fujian governor's prescient remarks about the role of the U.S. and China in the coming 20th century. With a little revision, they still hold true--as do the hopes for our two countries peaceful cooperation. Bill

Amoy 4th of July, 1891--a Toast to America & China
[Chinese Recorder, Vol. 23, January, 1892 p. 18]
"China's Power.—At the celebration of the Fourth of July at Amoy, China, by the Americans, the governor of the province was invited to the banquet, and made a remarkable speech, which shows his intelligence, and suggests some things worthy of consideration.

"Tsin Chin-chung was called upon to respond to the toast, 'The Emperor of China.' In part he said: 'China, having followed its own principles of advancement during more than 5000 years, is now compelled to change and move along European channels. It has begun to own steamships and railways. Its telegraph now covers every province. It has mills, forges and foundries like those of Essen, of Sheffield and of Pittsburgh. China is to-day learning that lesson in education which Europe has obliged her to learn,—the art of killing, the science of armies and navies. Woe, then, to the world if the scholar, profiting by her lesson, should apply it in turn. With its freedom from debt, its inexhaustible resources and its teeming millions, this empire might be the menace, if not the destroyer, of Christendom. No matter what happens, it needs no prophetic gift to know that the 20th century will see at the forefront of the nations of the world,—China in the East and America in the West. Well may we pray that, for the welfare of humanity, their purposes will be as peaceful and upright as to-day.'"
www.amoymagic.com

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Western Food in Xiamen (1856)

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
There are endless varieties of cuisine now available in Xiamen restaurants--everything from Mexican at Coyote Cafe to my favorite Western (and healthiest), the AFD Cafe, which is run by Hungarian-Australian Alex and wife Fuji, and offers tasty (and very healthy) dishes such as pasta, fish, Hungarian goulash, pizzas, beef and veggy burgers--and the best and most authentic Australian meat pies in town. But 150 years ago the foreigners here in Amoy also lived pretty high on the hog, as we can see from these accounts of Western dining in Xiamen in 1856:

Western Food in Xiamen (1856!)

Monday, Oct. 8th, “You may like to know if foreigners get enough to eat in this part of the world, and so I will tell you what we had on the dinner-table this evening. We had first soup, fish baked, roast goose, boiled mutton, stewed beef, and several kinds of vegetables; then we had puddings, marmalade, cheese and beer, plantains, five kinds of nuts, persimmons, guavas, pumaloes, four kinds of preserves, etc., and the various wines, and lastly we had coffee. It was seven in the evening when we sat down to dinner. Mr. L and I drank to the Queen, and then to the President of the United States, etc. … When I left, which was half past twelve, the moon shone brightly overhead, lighting up the whole interior of the court. Attracted by its silvery appearance, the cool air, and the quiet and deathlike stillness, I took a seat on the stone steps, and enjoyed the tranquility of the place alone. Completely shut out from the street.—for the doors at the bottom of the court were closed—the buildings seemed like a kind of palace. I am told that it was formerly the residence of the Chinese governor of this province, and everything is laid out, handsomely arranged, befitting his station.

Sat. Oct. 12th, Dined at Rev. Mr. Young’s, and made, I believe, the most of my meal on plum-pudding and plum-cake, which much reminded me of home.

Friday, Oct. 19th, “A few mornings since, at the breakfast table, Mr. T made some amusement by his explanation of a peculiarity in the Chinese mode of cooking. He had helped me to a dish which I had never before seen. While partaking of it with good appetite, he asked me how I liked the “beef scallop.

To this I answered, “Very well.”

It seemed to consist of beef-steak cut and pounded up very fine, without potatoes or seasoning, and it had little positive taste of any kind. He said, “I presume you know how the cook prepares this dish?”

I answered honestly that “I did not know.”

He continued with a plausible air, “Well, I can tell you. The Chinese cooks have no chopping knives, and, as a substitute, they chew the food fine, in their own mouths.”

I partook of it afterwards, adding vinegar, but I must say that my appetite for the dish was diminished. Still I was determined not to be induced by my imagination to give it up. Mr. B., I noticed, ate and swallowed with some difficulty, and probably I did myself. After a painful suspense of some minutes, Mr. T. observed, by way of climax, “Gentlemen, don’t be afraid of it; I never allow my cooks to use tobacco whatever!”

We laid down our knives and forks, and Mr. T enjoyed a good laugh while we gave our plates to the servants to be changed, and passed to the next dish. After that I did not taste of the beef scallop—at least for several days.”

At dinner one day we had some tripe served up in a new style, according to the Chinese method; and the looks and odor of it were more disagreeable than our imaginations pictured the scallop, or any other article of food I have yet seen. Some quite amusing remarks were elicited by the presence of this dish. Ball, 1856

Ball, Benjamin Lincoln, “Rambles in Eastern Asia: Including China and Manila, During Several Years Residence,” James French and Company, Boston, 1856

www.amoymagic.com

Famished at the Feast

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University Copyright 1999-2009
Adapted from "Magic Xiamen--Guide to Xiamen and Fujian"
Also see Strange Creature Cuisin (1880s)

Famished at the Feast. While many foreigners like eating rice with their meat and vegetables, Chinese eating out often don’t want rice at all. They order only what they don’t get at home—like jellyfish and seaworms, pickled piggy toes, and stewed duck webs. These exotic delicacies may well tantalize the taste buds but they don’t stick to the ribs, and you can easily find yourself famished at the end of a 20 course feast unless you can top it off with a plate or two of rice or noodles. And herein lays the problem.

Unless you hound the waitresses, they won’t serve the rice until the very end, and plain, white rice is not the most appealing way to top off a meal (except for our youngest son Matthew, who has been in China since he was six months old and therefore has taken leave of some critical faculties).

You must beg the waiter, “Please bring the rice first!” (Qǐng Bǎ Mǐfàn Xiān Shàng! (请把米饭先上!). They will happily reply, “Hǎole! Hǎole!” (好了,好了! Okay!), but their brains in no way hear what their lips are saying. Chinese don’t order rice and so they cannot believe you would either, so you must hound them for it, and even then you’ll probably still end up getting rice only as your just desserts.

A waitress in Xiàmén’s finest foreign-run hotel (you guess which one) agreed three times to bring the rice and we still did not get it until after we’d paid. Then she had the nerve to suggest a doggy bag for the rice.

We’ve entreated the Xiàmén University restaurant waitresses, several times a week, for years, to bring the rice first. Only in the last few months have they given in. In fact, now they often plop bowls of white rice in front of us even before they take our order—and then we get to stare at white rice until the entrees arrive half an hour later. But cold rice is better than no rice.

Related: Strange Creature Cuisin (1880s)www.amoymagic.com

Stranger Creature Cuisine (1880s)

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
Major Henry Knolly's, who wrote "English Life in China," (1885) was obviously not fond of China or Chinese. I would blush to share some of the disparaging things he wrote of both. Still, he was very descriptive in his writings, and I've attended enough of 3-hour culinary marathons over the years, in which we're fed every part of an animal but the meat itself, that I can appreciate his account of a Chinese banquet--and especially his closing statement of having eaten his fill and still being hungry. I wrote about being "Famished at the Feast" in the booki, Magic Xiamen--Guide to Xiamen & Fujian".

Major Knolly's Chinese Banquet:
In course of time relays of hot dishes are brought steaming from the kitchen, and set down in the centre of the table. Bird's-nest soup, of course an expensive luxury which is never wanting in really recherché dinners. It is not a mass of twigs, moss, and feathers, but a clean, clear fluid with a yellow tinge, a slightly gelatinous consistency, and about as insipid to the palate as dissolved isinglass. Nothing except in thought to disgust one here, and as we are supplied with little scoops like porcelain medicine spoons, I am not behindhand in the swallowing race. Shark's fins humph! pulpy and viscous, one need be hungry to enjoy them. Toadstools— they look spotted and deadly poisonous, but Sir James Paget assures me that they are nutritious as beef steak. Fishes' maws, that is, the lower lips stewed into a snail-looking broth. Ugh! all this mixture of unwonted food in however small quantities, together with the heat, the charged atmosphere, and the 'bouquet de Chinois,' is beginning to make me feel thoroughly squeamish. Still the women, who by the way annoy me by hawking, hemming, and expectorating as incessantly as a forty-year-old Frenchwoman, in keen amusement ply their chopsticks in my behalf. Shark-fin, toadstool, fish's maw. 'Stop, please' (half choking), 'I cannot eat any more.' But as I open my mouth in enunciation of despairing remonstrance, one last tit-bit is thrust in a pigeon's egg, and a pigeon's egg which, according to Chinese ideas of dainty dishes, had acquired a peculiar relish by having been preserved for twenty years.
I hesitate no longer….

But to think how our repast made us not one whit ill the next day.' The secret of this was that about half a mouthful of each dish more than satisfied our appetites, and that thus the aggregate of food consumed was so small that practically we went to bed dinnerless. The whole experience was one to be eagerly sought out for once, but to be resolutely avoided on a second occasion.

Knollys, Major Henry, “English Life in China,” Smith, Elder & Company, London, 1885, pp. 289,290

www.amoymagic.com

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

U.S. Guangzhou Consulate Move to Xiamen?

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
Well, I'm afraid the Guangzhou U.S. Consulate is not, as of yet, moving to Xiamen--but they should! What a beautiful location they had on our Gulangyu Islet, and I just read that our illustrious U.S. Consul, le Gendre, wrote way back in 1871 that the U.S. Consul for not just Fujian but Guangzhou and Taiwan as well should be located in Xiamen, the "doorway to Fookien." (See quote & source below). So send in your e-mails to the U.S. Consulate. I'm sure those poor folks down there would Enjoy Amoy much better than smoggy Guangzhou. And in the meantime, visit the official America in Xiamen web page.

Amoy, the door to the Fookien Province, as its name in Chinese indicates, would be the proper residence for a Consul whose jurisdiction would extend over agents of Swatow [Shantou] and Vice Consuls for the Formosa ports.”

Carles, William Le Gendre, U.S. Consul in Amoy, “How to Deal with China. A Letter to de B. Rand. Kiem, Esquire, Agent of the United States, Amoy, 1871, p. 118

www.amoymagic.com

Xiamen Typhoon (1920s)

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
In 1999, a newly arrived American family with Kodak asked me worriedly if the coming typhoon would be bad. "No," I said. "Never a problem. Taiwan always blocks us from them. Besides, locals say the statue of Koxinga on Gulangyu Islet protects us. And so of course Typhoon Dan was the worst typhoon since the 1950s, and devastated the island. It took me 4 hours just to cut my way out of our apartment up on the hillside, which took the brunt.

Ann Mackenzie-Grieves, who lived on Gulangyu in the 1920s, wrote this vivid description of an Amoy typhoon ("Race of Green Ginger," pp. 137-139):

The black ball on the signal station was so familiar a punctuation of our summer horizon that it almost ceased to signify. Typhoons there were, but they passed on up the Formosa Strait. 'The great wind will not pass us today'; our old gardener paused, straddling under the weight of a potted camellia he was carrying under the house....

The sea stretched like lead from waveless edges, the air was motionless. I wanted to hurry into the water, but I was weighed down, pouring with sweat. It had never been quite like this before. A puff of wind lifted the bamboo leaves leaning over the French Consulate wall. Almost at once they fell back into immobility. Stillness and silence were fused; even the cicadas had stopped boring into it. 'Come on, if you're coming.' I saw Cyril's head and shoulders against an empty roadstead. Far out, a few ships were making for open water. Uneasiness invaded me.

'Swim to the raft and back, and then let's go home.'

Just as we reached the garden gate, the trees shook in another spasm like a woman in labour, but the silence swallowed the wind. Lee stood on the bare and battened veranda looking anxious.

'Come quickly.' A second gust swept away his words, but still with a sort of ominous gentleness. Then, quite suddenly, we were shouting as the wind attacked with a roar composed of its own impetus through the trees, the ripping and rending of branches, the clatter ofairborne debris.

'Suddenly the wild horses were galloping madly, compelling six fish-hawks to fly backwards.'

'What on earth ... ?' To me, watching a crack spreading in the sitting-room ceiling, Cyril sounded slightly demented.

'Su Tung-p'o. Quoting the classics as usual-Kung Yang-kao, I think, but I'll just check it.' He fetched a copy of the Fu and began looking for the typhoon essay. The cracks above us were travelling like snakes across the ceiling.

'Why backwards?' But it was the cracks I was thinking of. The rain was hissing in the wind as it pounded the shutters. The house heaved and shook. We sat beleaguered.

'1 say, just listen to this, it's fascinating,' Cyril shouted, holding SU Tung-p'0 close to his face for the electric light had gone out. '"My guest said: this is only the beginning of the typhoon. In a short time it was beating open doors and crashing against the windows, bringing down the tiles in pieces and belabouring the house." What's so amazing about these chaps is that they don't date. . . .' Then the whole of the middle of the ceiling falling on us, cut classical comparisons short.

In the evening we went out to a stripped, skeletal island, lying under a clear indifferent sky. Not a leaf on the bamboos, bare banyan branches, bare roof timbers, flattened walls, mounds and drifts of matting, of tiles, of the most unexpected household objects. In the charming sunlit bay wreckage littered the shore: spars, oars, pieces of fish baskets, brilliant, fragile flower heads, and among them, like a Dali picture, a human foot. In the city lay acres of match-wood, and among it junks, carried incongruously there on wind and flood, leaned horribly this way and that. 'It is even worse than an army passing,' Lee said.
www.amoymagic.com

International Settlements in China?

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
International Settlements, such as that on our own Gulangyu Islet a century ago, were indeed self-governed foreign enclaves, where both foreigners and rich Chinese could live above the Chinese law. But the idea for these settlements initially came from the Chinese, not the foreigners--though foreigners carried it much further than Chinese intended, basically setting themselves above the law anywhere in China. Even when our family arrived in Xiamen in 1988, foreigners were not allowed to live with Chinese. We were housed in the "Holiday Village", which was chained and padlocked every night from 11 PM to 7 AM--from the outside (for our safety, we were told). I asked what happened in case of fire and was told that they'd unlock it. We'd have never imagined back then how completely Xiamen would change, and open up, over the next 20 years.

As far as we know, our family was the first in Xiamen to be allowed to live in "Chinese" housing, but today it is the norm. Foreign teachers at Xiamen University are given a housing allowance and allowed to rent any place they desire. Some foreigners even purchase apartments or villas. The only requirement is that they register their address with the local police (the same requirement made of Chinese).

What a change from 20 years ago--or 80 years ago, when Ann Mackenzie-Grieves wrote about international settlements in her book "A Race of Green Ginger" (she lived on Gulangyu in the 1920s):

To hear the students one would have thought that the foreign settlements had been a wicked invention of the Western traders and imperialists. Actually, since the Portuguese began trading with the southern Chinese in the sixteenth century, Chinese relationship with the foreigners had been entirely governed by China's own system of administrative responsibility. The foreigners proved far easier to control in a settlement of their own, under their own headman, who, like a Chinese civil governor, could be held entirely responsible for their behaviour. During the next two centuries the arrangement worked well. There were times when both Chinese and Westerners behaved badly: unlettered Manchu successors of the Ming scholar-officials were arbitrary and obstinate; hectoring British traders abused privileges, flouted the custom and courtesy so vital to Chinese relationships; tough sea-captains resorted to violence. On the whole, however, it was to the advantage of both sides to abide by the rules. But the immunity of extra-territoriality accorded to the foreigners in their own enclaves began to be extended to, and claimed by, Chinese living in the concessions and, with the increasing corruption and misgovernment of nineteenth-century China, Chinese ships found it safer to sail under foreign flags. Smugglers, both foreign and local, sailed profitably under any flag they could buy, and strengthened their alliance with the pirates….
Mackenzie-Grieves, 1959, pp. 101,102.

www.amoymagic.com

Friday, February 20, 2009

Chang Gung Hospital 厦门长庚医院

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
Xiamen Chang Gung Hospital (厦门长庚医院)--#1!
Over 20+ years in Xiamen our biggest concerns as a family have been education and quality medical care. We home-schooled the boys (though Xiamen now has the excellent Xiamen International School ), but for medical care we were generally at a loss as to what to do. Basically, we avoided the hospitals unless we were really sick--but if we were really sick we then didn't dare go to the hospital. Sort of a catch-22 there. But happily, we now have the excellent Taiwan-run Chang Gung Hospital in Haicang, Xiamen! My wife has been there many times, had excellent care, and taken a half dozen friends. Click Here to learn more. And below is a letter I just received from one of our fellow Xiamen laowai.

Dr, Bill
Thank you for the information regarding the new Hospital in Haican.g I had to go there today to visit a specialist for a brief check up and a for a couple of minors health issues. I had some problems with the Xiamen bus to Haichan but once there everybody spoke a little English and were extremely pleasant. My young doctor also was very thorough and explained everything in good English. Total cost for a visit, ultrasounds, urine test. blood pressure weekly medication plus free return bus to my door in Xiamen was less than 100 rmb. Well, you were quite correct in praising this establishment. Well done Chang Gun Hospital
J.C.

Read these great Ancient Chinese Doctor Jokes!
Click for Xiamen Hospitals

Click for Xiamen Dentists and Dental Care

(厦门国际学校)

Xiamen International School


www.amoymagic.com

中国——我们的红娘 - 潘维廉博士(美)

潘维廉博士 。。。。 厦门大学工商管理中心
(Copyright2006-2009, Bill Brown)
刘海燕 译 —— (英文)
Click for English of "China--our Matchmaker"

(若不是出于对中国共同的兴趣,我可能永远也不会遇到我那金发碧眼,美丽动人的台湾太太。故事是这样的……)

小学五年级的时候,我被逼得在合唱队里女声部唱歌,因为我那清脆如银铃般的“女高音”是全校最高亢的。男同学都开我的玩笑,“比尔是个女孩!”。那时,我 是多么盼望青春期的到来啊,我就可以拥有一副男人味实足的嗓音了。

我的愿望实现地太快了。悦耳的银铃碎了,取而代之的是沙哑的,变声期嗓音。而现在,青春 期像报复我似的离我远去了。我也不讨厌那些拥有银铃般嗓音的日子了。我声嘶力竭地想把那些原来易如反掌的高音唱上去,但白费功夫。高八度是没有希望了,我 就这样随随便便地被逐出了伊甸园。

很久以前,婚姻都是父母做主的。男孩儿根本不用发愁怎么约会女孩儿。现在就不同了,要是她不同意怎么办。就算她同意了也未必是好事,接下来又该怎么办呢? 是请她吃饭、看电影、看球赛,还是去滑冰?是牵手好呢,还是不牵好?要不要亲她一下,亲的话,哪儿好呢,嘴巴还是脸颊?下定决心要在约会结束的时候吻别一 下,但是最终还是犹豫了,竟以握手告终,搞得就和商人谈成一笔生意似的,太窘了!

就是单单和女生坐在一起,对大力神赫拉克勒斯也是个挑战,别说是一般人。你鼓起勇气慢慢地,装作漫不经心地把你的手臂搭在她的肩上,从侧面察言观色。如果 她微微一笑,那你胜券在握,但要是她皱眉头,你得马上把你那“不听话”的手抽回来,紧张地搓搓潮湿的手掌,望着天空,赶紧说:“今天,天气不错哦!”。若 是,她对你的行为表示鼓励呢,接下来怎么办呐?

25岁那年,受够了女人的我,我决心“戒掉”女人。我以钢铁般的意志,“两眼不见如花女,一心只读教科书”。我整天就穿梭于宿舍、教室、图书馆、食堂四个 地方。但是,这决心就只坚持了两个星期。1981年的复活节,我在台湾结识的一对夫妇邀请我和另外几个年轻人去家中做客。从此,我走向了自己未知的命运。

刚跨进他们家大门,我的目光就定在一位年轻的美女身上,再也移不开了。这位美女有着碧蓝深邃的眸子,一头亚麻色的秀发如倾泻的瀑布一般,落在她白蓝相间的 滑雪衫上。我像是被催眠了,故作镇定地从她身边走过,但是她的一颦一笑,一举一动却深深地印在我的心间。虽然,装的和没事儿人一样,但我还是差点撞到了墙 上。

我特想和她说话,但整个下午她周围都有群大胆的家伙。眼看就到了晚上,她看都没看我一眼,直到我朋友跟在场的人们讲,前一天晚上县里的救生员想把我从 300米高悬崖的半山腰救出,他们的手电却没电了,反而是我救了一个队员一命。我的女神好奇地望着我,我暗自庆幸:“太好了,现在她知道,我是条硬汉。”

接着这家的主人说:“苏,你知道么,比尔曾在台湾待过,还想去中国大陆呢?”

“是么?”她很惊讶。“你是什么时候去台湾的?”

我突然觉得口干舌燥,着急上火。比尔,别搞砸,慢慢来。扮指头算算有几年,手指头不够就上脚么。“哦,是从1978年6月到1976年6月,”我说。“不不,是从76年到78年。你去过台湾么?”

“我就生长在台湾啊!”她笑着说。“可惜,76年6月到78年6月这段时间我在美国,我们刚好错过!”

这是我们之间意义深刻的“破冰对话”,从此以后我就一头栽进对她的爱恋中,再也无法自拔。

说起我们共同的爱好——中国,我们一谈就是好几个小时。当苏说她打算圣诞节去看她的父母,我立刻就编了一条也要去台湾的理由。“那我们一起吧。”后来,我 无意中听到她的车坏了,我毫不犹豫地就把我的车借给了她。虽然,我穿着旱冰鞋滑到学校,但 是这样一来,我就又有借口和她再见面了2。其实,我是不用担心啦,她答应了周五晚上和我一起看免费的校园音乐会。

那五天的等待对我来说比一个世纪还要漫长,但当那个“历史时刻”最终来临的时候,我们却好似已相识多年。但是,告别的时候,我迟疑了,害羞地给了她一个朋友的拥抱;而她回吻了我,那一吻,幸福得让我觉得天旋地转。

我们中间的那层窗户纸终于被捅破了。从那天起,直到我们10个月后在台湾结婚,我们每天都见面。

第二天晚上,我们参加了非洲毕业生的免费晚宴,但是免费约会不是长久之计啊。迟早我都得自己为心上人花钱。我们第三次约会的时候,我请苏吃饭。那天她穿了 一件非常漂亮的晚礼服,还穿了高跟鞋,还以为我会像他的前男友约翰那样请他去一家高级餐厅。约翰是个穿着讲究入时的绅士,给她送花,帮她开车门,带她去高 消费的餐厅。和约翰这样的完美绅士相比,我一无是处。

过了几年时时处处强调一致的军队生活之后,我倒喜欢穿的随便一些,像个学生。我留着参差不齐的胡子,穿的也很穷酸。如今,花大价钱把新衣服搞旧已成为时尚。殊不知十年前,我就穿到处是洞的乞丐装了,那是我当兵剩下的衣服。

幸运的是,苏并不介意我的不修边幅。我没有带她去高级餐馆,而是吃了便宜的快餐,,苏也并不在意我是不是很穷。约翰请她吃饭时花的停车费比我请的晚饭还贵。

哦,我可怜的约翰,第二周的周末我在苏的教堂看到了我的这位“前任”。虽然,他已经交了新的女朋友,但是我搭在苏肩头的手臂还是让他妒火中烧。我和他对 视,我们的目光像两把剑一样锋利,此时,苏面对约翰热情的拥抱显得非常尴尬。如果目光能杀人,那么教堂的过道上早经是血流成河了

令苏气愤的是,约翰开始频繁的在她公寓逛荡。当苏最终把他赶走的时候,我松了一口气。直到那时,我才意识到我们已经离不开对方。我退缩了。

我当然很清楚苏是我最理想的另一半。这世上还真有生在台湾,长在台湾,热爱中国的美国女孩。而且,竟然还被我遇上了。苏真的是我喜欢的类型,但是我直言不讳地告诉她,我想她无法适应我们到中国后可能要面对的简朴生活。

她却再三的表示,我做什么,她就做什么。

但是我仍不确信。一天晚上,在宿舍停车场,我罗列了一堆我们不能结婚的理由。她静静地听着,睫毛上挂着泪水,我当时恨不得打自己一顿。突然,我不假思索的说:“十二月我们要去台湾,在那儿结婚怎么样?”

时至今日,我也不知道当时脑子里怎么冒出这样一句一点也不浪漫的求婚词,还脱口而出。苏只是笑了笑,“你是开玩笑的,是吧?”

说实话,我自己的吃惊程度也不比她小,但是看到她在笑,我不能也笑啊,所以,我马上说:“不,我是认真的。”

她睁大双眼,“好的,我答应你!”

苏的很多同学都参加了我们1981年12月份在台北基督学院举办的婚礼,但是婚礼的细节我有些记不清了。我当时非常紧张,若不是苏的父亲拿走了我的机票, 我可能真会把苏一个人丢在礼堂。这种疑问在婚礼举行很久以后都还没消失,但是几年之后我们终于克服了它,而我们的婚姻也越来越稳定。

如今,太多的婚姻都建立在愚蠢、狂热的激情之上,通通失败了,因为它们缺乏成长,承诺,以及一个有点过时的词——牺牲。这是我妻子最令人敬佩的美德:她勇于牺牲。

坚守着她不论贫穷或富有的结婚誓言,苏从来没有抱怨过我简朴的生活方式。当我的小公司发达之后,六位数的收入让她过上了比嫁给我时预想的好得多的生活,我 非常骄傲。但是我的心仍在中国,当我们逐渐实现了所谓的“美国梦”,我更担心了,“苏舍得丢下这一切去中国么?我能么?”

1987年,我踌躇了很久,终于问她,“我们结束这里的生意,搬去中国,你觉得怎么样?”我问的时机不对,苏当时要照顾我们的孩子,而且马上另一个孩子也要出生了。但是,她表现的却很有信心,说:“如果你觉得可以,我们就走。”

第二年,我们破釜沉舟,带上我们两个年幼的儿子移居厦门。这变化让人觉得压力不小,但我们从没有后悔过。在中国的生活也比我原想的要精彩的多。

回首往事,小学五年级到结婚真是一段辛苦的耕耘,但是却是值得的,也收获颇丰!我无法想象,如果没有我这位“台湾制造”的太太,如果不在中国,生活会是什么样子!

包办婚姻真的有些好处,比如说可以省去我们这些保守男人约会之苦。但是究竟是谁包办了我们这段看似不可能的姻缘的呢?这样的婚姻,不是谁能包办的了的,我们是天作之合啊。

是我们对中国共同的兴趣让我们走到了一起,所以,或许可以说,中国是我们的红娘!

谢谢你,中国!

1 See Changting Stories. XMU males used the same strategy—with notebooks!
2 注释1:请看“长汀故事”一章。厦大的男生现在也常用这一招,不过把车换成笔记本而已。
www.amoymagic.com (魅力厦门网站)

Xiamen University's Many Firsts

潘维廉博士 ... 厦门大学工商管理中心

China's only key university founded by an Overseas Chinese
中国唯一一所由海外华侨创办的重点大学
China's only key university in a Special Economic Zone
中国经济特区中唯一一所重点大学
China's most beautiful campus (only Wuhan University comes close).
中国最美丽的校园(只有武汉大学能媲美)
China's largest university auditorium (overlooking the sea)
中国最大的大学礼堂(眺望大海)
A "Cradle of modern aviation"
"现代航空学的摇篮"
A "Cradle of modern Chinese oceanography" (1st PhD in Oceanography)
"现代中国海洋学的摇篮"(培养了海洋学的第一个博士)
China's 1st to award the MBA degree
中国首次授予MBA学位的大学
China's 1st EMBA to enroll students (4th most popular E-MBA today)
中国第一次招收EMBA学生的大学(目前是第四大热门的EMBA学校)
China's largest number of enrolled EMBA students
中国招收最多EMBA学生的大学
China's leading chemistry department
中国leading的化学系
China's 1st Institute of and degrees in Higher Education Research
中国第一个高等教育研究所和高等教育学位
China's first modern college for foreigners (OEC)
中国为外国学生设立的第一所现代大学
China's pioneer in correspondence education (since 1950s!)
中国函授教育的先锋(从20世纪50年代始)
China's leading mathematicians, including talents like Chen Jingrun.
中国著名的数学家,包括陈景润等天才
China's closest university ties with Taiwan.
中国离台湾最近的大学
China's 1st Taiwan Research Center
中国第一个台湾研究所
China's 1st Taiwan research quarterly)
中国第一份台湾研究刊物
China's 1st institute of S.E. Asian and Overseas Chinese Studies
中国第一个中南亚及海外华侨研究机构

China's 1st Anthropology Museum
中国第一个人类博物馆
One of China's 1st universities to teach International Law
中国最早教授国际法的大学之一
One of China's Leaders in Political Affairs Research
中国主要的政治事件研究点之一
China's only Public Economics Dept. designated as a "National Key Branch of Learning"
被中国公共经济部指定的唯一一个"国家重点研究branch"
One of China's 1st Dept. of Economics and Trade
中国最早的经贸学院之一
China's leading economics college (China's 1st economics journal, in 1959)
中国主要的经济学院(中国第一份经济刊物,1959年)
China's #1 State Key Laboratory in Physical Chemistry of Solid Surfaces
中国固体表面物化国家1号重点实验室
China's only Key Laboratory in Analytical Sciences (the Materials and Life Chemistry)
中国唯一的分析科学重点实验室(数学和生命化学)
Inter-university ties with at least 89 foreign institutes
至少与89个外国学院建立校际联系
And the list goes on...
此列表将继续添加......
www.amoymagic.com

是如何来到这里的 或 天堂之...

潘维廉博士 ... 厦门大学 (Copyright2006-2009, Bill Brown)
英文"How I Got Here"
中国--我们的红娘
英文"China-Our Matchmaker"

很多人问我为什么在1988年选择来厦大时,他们都期待一个深沉的、意味深长的回答。但我的回答很简单:厦大是中国当时唯一允许外国学生带家属来的学校。一个更有意思的问题是"究竟为什么要来中国?"答案是――上帝的感召!

在我20岁之前,我从来没有想过我会见到一个中国人,也没有想过会吃中国菜。我记得我20岁的时候有人告诉我,世界上四分之一的人口是中国人,我说,"不 可能!我们家有四口人,但没有一个是中国人!"但很快我就去了东方,美国空军1976年派我到台湾工作2年。而此后十年发生的一系列事情最后使我来到了厦 大。

天上的感召 作为一个年轻的美国空军导弹系统专家,我在中国大陆唯一的兴趣就象个军事目标。后来我知道,感谢20世纪70年代之前,台湾和apocalyptic Yellow Peril之间没有打仗,而是对话。

一个明媚的春天早晨,我所在的空军基地上空飘下一团大陆来的传单,就象彩色的雪片。我不懂中文,这些传单一点都没有引起我的注意――直到一个台湾警察告诉 我们,"你们要是碰一下这些传单,就会被抓起来!"人们总是对被禁止的东西充满好奇心,我把这些违法宣传单塞进口袋,跑回家,关起窗帘,偷偷地研究起来。 我不相信大陆会象照片中拍的那么rosy(应该是红色,而不是rosy),这引起了我的好奇心,于是我就开始阅读中国历史和文化方面的书。

我爱上了台湾岛和岛上的人们,当我知道四分之三的台湾人来自福建的时候,我决定哪天我一定要去大陆看看。我从来没有想过,十年后,我不仅去了福建,还成了福建省的第一个外国永久居民。

听说过厦门吗?1988年4月,就在我的二儿子马太出生后不久,台湾的一个完全陌生的人给我打电话,他说,"我听说你想到中国学中文。你听说过厦门吗?那里的大学可以给学生家属提供宿舍......"

"不,我从没想过要去,"我说,"我妻子刚生孩子,这两年我们哪都不能去。不过还是要谢谢你。"

正好一星期之后,一个加利福尼亚Orange的人给我打电话说,"听说你想到中国学习。听说过厦门吗?"

"听说过,"我说,"就在上星期!"后来我跟他见了面,5个月后,我和妻子带者两个幼子,来到了厦门大学!

只要英语老师! 1988年,我是管理学博士,来到厦大,6个"China Hands"说中国除了英语老师什么都不要。他们建议我回美国考取一个TESL学位。可以想像,当我听到厦大开始设立中国第一批MBA program,他们也有了一个外国老师时,我又惊又喜。幸运的是(对我来说是幸运的,)那个美国老师由于家里出了点事就回国了。院长问我是否愿意接替他 的工作,我说,"让我考虑一下吧。"大约考虑了三十多秒后,我说"好",从那时起我们就留在厦大。

恰当的时间,恰当的地点,作为这个团队的一分子让我感到很骄傲。两年后我们学院颁发了中国第一个MBA学位(比南开大学早6天)。但在1988年,厦大和厦门远远没有我们今天所见到的这个校园、这座城市漂亮,那么让人愉悦。

一个贫穷的特区 厦大是中国经济特区内唯一的一所全国重点大学,但中国还是一个相当贫困的国家,刚从几十年经济困难中恢复过来。厦门大学的生活条件很不尽人意。一周内有好 几天要停水停电(有一次连续4天停水,我只好用提桶从山上提水下来)。装上自来水了,可水管里流出的水是褐色的,象茶一样的颜色。空气也不干净,尽是煤 灰,我咳得象是个老烟鬼。

街道也很破,以前只有三条汽车干道,汽车很旧。黑色气体穿出汽车的木地板缝,有时下车时我看起来就象是个吟游诗人。

厦大校园的小路大多都很脏,下雨的时候,整个校园就成了一片沼泽,学校大门前车辆在泥里抛了锚,就会阻碍交通。排水系统很差,虽然厦门是一块小岛,校园还 是被淹了。一次台风过后,外国事务办公室(现在的ICE)把文件摊开在太阳下的草地上晒干。(我很想知道这些文件里是否有关于我的什么信息,但我不敢偷看 一眼。)

如果说外国老师的生活条件很差,那么中国的著名教授和领导的生活条件就更差了。我经常看到我们MBA学院院长刘鹏,身穿长袍,从公共浴室走好长一段路回 家。纪玉华,现在是国内知名的"大胡子伯伯",同许多其他教师住在一个房间里,同他们一样,他在公共走廊上用纸板做成了个厨房(用纸板做的门 上......)。

从内部开始改变 我们在1988年时从没想象过,仅仅十年后厦大会变成今天这个田园般美丽的校园,也没想过厦门市会成为闻名世界的花园城市,既保证经济增长又能很好地保护环境。

2002年,我用了8个月时间考察厦门,厦门参加斯图加特国家花园城市比赛。我所看到的让我很震惊。每个人都可以看到,这个"海上花园"确实是地球上最漂亮的城市之一,外行人不知道实现如此全面变化背后的领导和策划。

跟厦门市一样,厦大的改变不仅仅是表面上的,更是追求和精神的进化――尽管在我写这本书之前丝毫没有感觉到这种变化,我也不知道厦大在过去的85年对中国 乃至是对世界的贡献。这本书只只是很粗浅的介绍了一些内容,我希望这些能帮助你理解在一定程度上理解,为什么厦大不仅是南方之强,更是中国之强。

外国"专家"在中国
老师还是学生?
(摘自《中国问题》伯特兰 罗素(1922) 著)
[谭倩倩 翻译]

" 我当初来中国是为了教书的,但在中国停留的时间越久,我就越不知道我能教他们些什么,相反我倒是在想我能向他们学些什么。我发现,长时间在中国生活的人往 往都会这么想。但对于那些只在中国生活了较短时间,或者来中国纯粹为了赚钱的人,持这种态度的人少得可怜。这是因为在我们真正重视的东西上中国无法超过我 们――军事力量和经济繁荣。但是对于那些崇尚智慧或美感,甚至只是追求更高生活品味的人,他们可以在中国更多的找到他们所真正需要的东西。而这些,是他们 在纷乱繁杂的西方社会所很难找到的。他们可以在中国过上幸福的生活,因为这些东西也是中国人所看重和需要的。我多么希望,中国可以给予我们她的宽容、博 大、平和,就像我们在科学技术方面所给予中国的。
"我们穷尽一生的时间来积聚我们永远也不会去消费的金钱值得吗?
"中国人对这些问题的答案是否定的,所以他们必须忍受贫穷、疾病和政治混乱。但是,为了弥补这些不幸,他们保留了享乐、安逸和笑容,这是工业国家所没有 的。我所认识的中国人,无论他们来自哪个阶层,都比其它任何一个民族更喜欢笑;他们从每一件事情中享受快乐,一个笑话就可以缓解争端......
无论来自上流社会还是最底层的中国人,都有着深刻的自我认知,这种认知是欧洲的教育无法溶蚀的。正是这种强烈的自我认知,使他们不会孤注一掷、独断专行, 无论是个人还是整个国家。他们承认,中国的军事力量还不算强大......但他们并不认为能用最短的时间消灭敌人是一个人或一个国家最重要的品质。实际 上,我认为,他们觉得中国是世界上最大的国家,有着世界上最先进的文明。"

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A Sign from the Heavens (How I got here)

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
Many ask how I ended up in Xiamen and I reply, "A sign from the heavens!" And this is literally true, as I wrote in the intro to the book "Xiamen University--Strength of the South". Also read "China--our Matchmaker" to learn about my blond, blue-eyed made-in-Taiwan wife and our "match made in heaven" (but assembled in China).

How I Got Here
(中文)
(A Sign from the Heavens!)
Adapted from "Xiamen University, Strength of the South"

Many Chinese expect some deep, philosophical response when they ask me why I chose XMU in 1988, but my answer is rather prosaic: XMU was the only Chinese university at that time that let foreign students bring families. A far more interesting question is "Why did I come to China at all?" The answer is-I received a sign from the heavens!

After 20 years in China it is hard for me to believe that I never met a Chinese or ate Chinese food until I was twenty years old. I remember being told that one in four people on earth were Chinese and I said, "That's not true. Our family has 4 people and none of us are Chinese!" But I got oriented quickly when the U.S. Air Force sent me to Taiwan for two years in 1976, and that was the beginning of a decade-long chain of events that led me right to XMU.
Sign From the Heavens As a young Air Force missile systems expert, my only interest in the mainland was as a military target. With hindsight, I'm very thankful that by the 1970s Taiwan and the apocalyptic Yellow Peril were exchanging not weapons but words.

On a bright, spring morning, a batch of mainland propaganda leaflets fell from the heavens like colored snow right onto our Air Force base. I could not read the Chinese so they did not interest me in the slightest-until the Taiwanese police told us, "You'll go to jail if you even touch them!" Forbidden fruit is always sweeter, and I stuffed my pockets with contraband propaganda, raced home, closed my curtains, and studied them secretly. I didn't believe the mainland was as rosy as the photos depicted (Red maybe, but not rosy), but they piqued my curiosity, and I began reading about Chinese history and culture.

I had already fallen for Taiwan and her people, and when I learned that 3/4 of Taiwanese were from South Fujian, I decided that someday I'd visit the mainland. I never dreamed that a decade later I'd not only visit but become Fujian Province's first permanent resident foreigner.

Heard of Xiamen? In April, 1988, right after the birth of our second son, Matthew, a total stranger phoned from Thailand and said, "I hear you're interested in studying Chinese in China. Have you ever heard of Xiamen? Their university has dorms for families..."

"No, never have," I said, "and my wife just had a baby so we can't go anywhere for a couple years. But thanks anyway."

Exactly one week later, a man from Orange, California, phoned and said, "I've heard you want to study in China. Have you ever heard of Xiamen?"
"Yes, I have," I said. "Last week!" I met with him, and 5 months later my wife, two infant sons, and I were in Xiamen University.

Only English Teachers! When I showed up at Xiamen University in 1988 with a PhD in management, half a dozen "China Hands" said China wanted nothing but English teachers, and they suggested I return to the U.S. to get a degree in TESL. So imagine my surprise and delight when I heard that XMU was starting one of China's first MBA programs, and that they did have one foreign teacher. And as "luck" would have it (for me, if not for him), the American teacher left China mid-year because of family issues back home. The Dean asked me if I'd take his place, and I said, "Let me think about it." And after thinking about it for a good 30 or 40 seconds, I said yes, and we've been here ever since.

It was the right place, and the right time, and I felt so proud to be part of the team that a couple years later awarded China's first MBA degrees (beating Nankai University by 6 days). But in 1988, neither Xiamen University nor Xiamen City was remotely like the idyllic city and campus we take delight in today.

A Poor SEZ XMU may well have been China's only key university in a Special Economic Zone, but China was still a poor country, recovering from decades of difficulties, and XMU's living conditions left much to be desired.

The electricity and water were shut off several days a week (we were once without water for 4 days and I lugged it up the hillside in buckets). When we did have water, it gurgled from the faucet brown, like tea. The air was dirty as well, full of coal soot, and I coughed like a veteran smoker.

Roads were poor, we had only 3 main bus rouses, and buses were dilapidated. Black exhaust often billowed through the busses' wooden plank floors and sometimes I looked like a minstrel1 by the time I staggered off.

Rains transformed our campus' dirt roads into quagmires, with vehicles mired in the mud at the university gates. Though we're an island the drainage was poor and XMU often flooded. After one typhoon, Foreign Affairs (now ICE) spread their documents on the lawn to dry them in the sun. (I was curious to read what they had on me, but I didn't have the nerve to sneak a peek).

If foreign teachers' living conditions were bad, those of famous Chinese professors and leaders were even worse. I often encountered Liu Peng, our MBA Center's Dean, walking home in a robe from the public bathroom a block away. Ji Yuhua, now the nationally famous Uncle Beard, lived in one room, and like other teachers he had built a kitchen of cardboard in the common hallway (replete with padlock on the cardboard door!).

Changed From Within We would have never imagined in 1988 that only a decade later we'd have the idyllic campus we take for granted today, and that Xiamen City would be a garden city recognized internationally for balancing record economic growth with sound environmental preservation.

In 2002, I spent eight months researching Xiamen to help represent her in an international competition for livable cities in Stuttgart2. I was awed at what I discovered. While anyone with eyes in their head can see that the "Garden City" is indeed one of the most beautiful cities on the planet, the casual observer does not see the tremendous quality of leadership and planning that made such comprehensive changes possible.

`XMU, like Xiamen City, has undergone not a mere cosmetic makeover but an evolution of purpose and spirit-though I did not have an inkling of the sheer scale of change until I researched this book. I also had no idea of XMU's contributions not just to China but to the rest of the world over the past 85 years. This book only scratches the surface, but I hope it will help you understand, in some small measure, why XMU is not only the Strength of the South but the Strength of the Nation as well.

Below is a list of some of Xiamen University's Many "Firsts!"
Some of XMU's Many Firsts

China's only key university founded by an Overseas Chinese
中国唯一一所由海外华侨创办的重点大学
China's only key university in a Special Economic Zone
中国经济特区中唯一一所重点大学
China's most beautiful campus (only Wuhan University comes close).
中国最美丽的校园(只有武汉大学能媲美)
China's largest university auditorium (overlooking the sea)
中国最大的大学礼堂(眺望大海)
A "Cradle of modern aviation"
"现代航空学的摇篮"
A "Cradle of modern Chinese oceanography" (1st PhD in Oceanography)
"现代中国海洋学的摇篮"(培养了海洋学的第一个博士)
China's 1st to award the MBA degree
中国首次授予MBA学位的大学
China's 1st EMBA to enroll students (4th most popular E-MBA today)
中国第一次招收EMBA学生的大学(目前是第四大热门的EMBA学校)
China's largest number of enrolled EMBA students
中国招收最多EMBA学生的大学
China's leading chemistry department
中国leading的化学系
China's 1st Institute of and degrees in Higher Education Research
中国第一个高等教育研究所和高等教育学位
China's first modern college for foreigners (OEC)
中国为外国学生设立的第一所现代大学
China's pioneer in correspondence education (since 1950s!)
中国函授教育的先锋(从20世纪50年代始)
China's leading mathematicians, including talents like Chen Jingrun.
中国著名的数学家,包括陈景润等天才
China's closest university ties with Taiwan.
中国离台湾最近的大学
China's 1st Taiwan Research Center
中国第一个台湾研究所
China's 1st Taiwan research quarterly)
中国第一份台湾研究刊物
China's 1st institute of S.E. Asian and Overseas Chinese Studies
中国第一个中南亚及海外华侨研究机构

China's 1st Anthropology Museum
中国第一个人类博物馆
One of China's 1st universities to teach International Law
中国最早教授国际法的大学之一
One of China's Leaders in Political Affairs Research
中国主要的政治事件研究点之一
China's only Public Economics Dept. designated as a "National Key Branch of Learning"
被中国公共经济部指定的唯一一个"国家重点研究branch"
.........
Click Here to read more of XMU's firsts

And Click Here to read "China, our Matchmaker"
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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Insane Amoy Dialect?

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
Ann Mackenzie-Grieve's husband came to Xiamen in the 1940s to learn the Amoy Dialect, which some thought would cause insanity! In her book "Race of Green Ginger" she humorously relates:

'I'm sure you'll find Chinese culture is worth studying,' said Mrs. Roots, 'but there don't seem to be any of those useful courses that you find at home about European culture. Why, I studied Dante in a very clear twelve-lesson course when Mr. Roots and I stayed in Italy.'

'You should tell your husband, Mrs. Theobald, to write one for the ladies, instead ofworking all those years on his dictionary.'

Mrs. Danvers leaned across to the bridge table. She made a point of being nice to the missionaries [of the Amoy Misson], she told me later. 'I hardly think that Mr. Theobald could help you there. Chinese culture is a complicated subject, you know. And he's given all his time to the local language and customs.’

‘People say you get peculiar if you study Chinese too long.', Mrs. Jones of the Customs addressed her remark to Mrs. Theobald quite kindly. I concluded that she believed the sanity of missionaries to be somehow immune.

Mrs. Weeks, the doctor's wife, said: 'I knew a man who put snakes in his wife's bed; he was terribly good at Chinese.'
…I should have to risk the snakes. Cyril [her husband] had to learn the language-that was why we were in Kulangsu. Apart from all cultural and social considerations, I, being borne in a sedan chair about the island, unable to make any sound which conveyed the least shred of meaning to the bearers, was even prepared to risk mental derangement. Mackenzie-Grieves, 1959, p. 29,30
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Monday, February 16, 2009

Scottish Medical Secretaries

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

Xiamen (Amoy) was pretty much the Scotland of China to many foreigners. At least 4 Scottish authors that I know of said the hills and rocks and rough coast reminded them of their homes. And Scotland accounted for a very disproportionate percentage of the best merchants, bankers and missionaries in China--great men like Robert Burns, and Dr. Patrick Manson, the "Father of Tropical Medicine," who discovered the link between malaria and mosquitoes (and Chinese vampires) right here on Gulangyu Islet. Given Scotland's fame for producing great doctors, I was surprised but happy to receive today this list, entitled Socialized Medicine, with sentences actually typed out by medical secretaries at NHS Greater Glasgow. Laughter's the best medicine, so enjoy and laugh hard enough that you won't end up at Glasgow NHS.

These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow.....

1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.

29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.


Related Link: Amoy Vampires (True story)
www.amoymagic.com

Sunday, January 25, 2009

There IS American Cuisine

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
Adapted from "Magic Xiamen--Guide to Xiamen"

°We don't like American food!" Chinese often say, but I just reply, °That's because you've never had it!"

Likening American fast food to authentic
American home cooking is like comparing instant noodles with Anxi Hutou's famous rice noodles. Every time I visit Hutou, I return with a 50 pound sack of rice noodles, but I'd sure never drive 4 hours for instant Ramen!

I can sing the praises of the award-winning Hakka dish, He Tian chicken, because I first had it in a real Hakka kitchen in Longyan City's Hetian Village. But my second serving, only 3 hours away in Sanming, was more foul than fowl. Fortunately I know what real Hetian chicken is supposed to taste like.

Some people complain that American food is just a mix of other countries cuisines, but that is its strength! America is as much a melting pot of menus as of
men, and in many ways reminds me of a much younger version of the centuries-old culinary traditions of West Fujia's famous little Shaxian Town.

About 1,000 years ago, people from all over China moved to remote Shaxian and brought with them their own unique cooking styles. Over the centuries, extremities of tastes mellowed to maximize their appeal to a cosmopolitan population, and today Shaxian's over 100 dishes are popular all over China (those many so-called Shaxian shops are less than genuine).

As Shaxian has adapted from cuisines all over China, so Americans have adopted and adapted foods from all over the world to create. Those who think all Americans subsist on meat, potatoes and bread need only browse Susan Marie's few dozen cookbooks and their thousands of recipes for genuine American food.

And America, like China, has rich regional specialties. Kentucky Fried Chicken originated in the South, where fried foods are popular. Texans enjoy Tex-Mex, a unique Americanization of Mexican food. (Nothing beats a breakfast burritos!). The French influenced Louisiana's Cajun cooking.

Americans adapted Italian cooking to create a distinctively American style of pizza (fair enough, since Italians stole spaghetti from the Chinese). Even the so-called American staple, potatoes, came from abroad. The Spanish introduced potatoes from Peru to Europe in the 16th century, and they eventually made it back to America, largely via Ireland. Turkey and corn are genuine American foods (from Native Americans).

Americans also have inventive salads, like the Waldorf and Caesar, and endless desserts like chocolate brownies and pumpkin pie. And those who turn up their noses at the very idea of a cheeseburger might change their tune if those noses got a whiff of a real burger: a thick, juicy, hand-shaped (not machine-stamped) beef patty bedded between fresh buns and blanketed with real cheeses, fresh lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, grilled onions, and slathered in a rich sauce or dressing.

Epicureans eschew American cuisine as Old Money shuns New, and it may well be our tastes are immature, untamed¡ªbut just give us a few centuries.

Sample Tex-Mex (one of my favorite cuisines) at Xiamen's Coyote Cafe!

Address: Yuan Dang Lu Gan Long Hua Yuan 58-2

Telephone: 504 - 6623

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Chinese Judge and the Pig Whisperer

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

A century ago, Xiamen's foreigners were quite impressed with both the imagination and the sense of humor of Chinese judges--as well as their humanity. I enjoyed this excerpt from MacGowan ("Men and Manners of Modern China," 1912, pp. 164-6), in which a Chinese judge appealed to a goddess to solve a crime!

CHINESE JUDGES

The Chinese judge, having nothing to control his decisions excepting his own free will, frequently settles cases after a very free and easy method. He sometimes shows great common-sense and ingenuity in the ruses adopted to elicit the truth in some disputed case. An amusing instance occurred some time ago, when the mandarin showed himself to be a man of humour and one well acquainted with the ins and outs of the Chinese mind. A Chinese went abroad and stayed away for fifteen years, where he accumulated quite a comfortable little sum, with which he determined to return home and spend the rest of his days in comfort. Night had fallen when he reached the entrance of the village where his home was. During all the years he had been away no letter had passed between him and his wife, and no tidings had ever reached him about her or his home. Was she alive? And, if so, would she receive him kindly after the neglect of years? His mind was so agitated about the reception he was likely to receive that he took the bar of gold into which he had converted his savings, and hid it in the ashes of the incense dish in front of the village idol in the public temple, and then with beating heart he made his way to his home. He found his wife alive, and to his delight she received him without any reproaches. She was too happy to have him back again to dream of scolding him. As they sat talking he told her how much money he had made and how it was then in the incense dish in front of the Goddess of Mercy in the village temple. He tried to tell her this in a low voice, but he did not succeed. A Chinese does not seem to know how to whisper. He can shout and bawl and howl, but the art of speaking quietly into another’s ear is a lost one in China. The expression “in a pig’s whisper” would be utterly misunderstood in this land.

At a crack in the wall that separated his house from his neighbour’s was an ear that drank in every word that was uttered by husband and wife. It seemed glued to it. It was fascinated, indeed, by the strange stories that poured into it, and when the tale of the gold bar was related it thrilled with joy, for it seemed as though some fairy had come to reveal a hidden fortune. Next morning, before the dawn of the day, the husband wound his way silently to the temple for his gold bar, but to his horror he found it was gone. He at once accused his neighbor of the theft, but the latter declared that he had not even heard of his return, and , therefore, he could not possibly have known anything about his gold. Finding it useless to discuss the matter, he hurried to the nearest mandarin and laid his complaint before him. This official happened to be a man of humour as well as a very sagacious one. He summoned the accused before him and ordered him to restore the gold. This the man declared he could not do for the simple reason that he had never taken it. The mandarin, who was convinced of his guilt, now determined to adopt a ruse which he believed would be successful. He ordered his policeman to go to the village temple and bring the idol in whose incense dish the gold had been concealed into his presence. When it arrived he asked the goddess who had stolen the gold. Profound silence was the only reply. “Don’t you consider it your duty to tell me who the thief is, seeing that the money was practically entrusted to you care?” asked the mandarin. Still no reply. Upon this the judge became indignant and accused the idol of want of respect to him, and also of neglect in allowing a theft to take place in a temple that was her residence. The mandarin now adjourned the case for a day and in an angry tone threatened the goddess that if she did not confess then he would have her publicly beaten with rods by his policemen.

That same evening the mandarin summoned the accused into his private room, and with a look of mystery on his face and in a voice trembling with emotion he said: “The goddess has confessed that it was you who stole the gold. She is furious with you, for you have made her ‘lose face’ to-day when I threatened before my whole court to have her beaten, and she vows vengeance against you and your whole family. She says she will make your fields barren and send sickness into your home. Yours sons will die, and when you leave the world there will be no one to worship at your tomb, and you will wander a hungry and wretched spirit in the land of the shades. The only way in which you can avert the wrath of the goddess is by an instant confession. If you do this, I will use all my influence to get her to forgive you.” The man was so terrified at the prospect of such awful calamities awaiting him that, trembling and full of awe, he made a clean breast of it and restored the bar of gold to the rightful owner; and, though he was punished by the mandarin for his wrong, he considered he had got off lightly, since he had not to suffer the vengeance of the goddess.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The U,S, Consul on Xiamen Law (1893)

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University
When D.C. Judge Roy Pearson, the fearless crusader against frivolous lawsuits, sued a Chinese laundry for $65.5 million after they lost their pants, the Chinese proprietors probably wished they were back in China where, according to Xiamen's U.S. Consul Mr. Edward Bedloe, Chinese are not a litigious society. At least they weren't in 1893, when Bedloe made his report--but times may be changing.

As Xiamen University's Law Department takes off, we have foreign lawyers crawling out of the woodwork, coming to learn and, scarier yet, to teach... I hope you enjoy this excerpt from Amoy U.S. Consul Bedloe's report in “Reports from the Consuls of the United States, Commerce, Manufactures, Etc., Vol. XLII, May, June, July and August, 1893”...

“To an American newcomer in China the laws respecting debt seem at first to be a labyrinth without a clew. Even a lawyer finds it difficult to determine the principles upon which Chinese jurisprudence is based. When, however, the student applies the touchstone of history and public policy, a system is disclosed which, thought it is at utter variance with any that prevails in countries that follow the common law or that employ a code, possesses great wisdom and practical merit. Time and space forbid a detailed account of the juridical development of China, but a brief synopsis may be of benefit to the reader.

In the first place, all Chinese law is customary law…. The law books (so called) of the country are hardly commentaries. They profess to be statements of what is considered right and proper by the community at large.

In the second place, the Chinese regard litigation as an evil and try to reduce it to a minimum. There are no lawyers, no costs, fees, or allowances. There are no calendars, rules of practice, judgment rolls, nor any of the machinery which makes the attorney so prominent a feature of civilized life. A magistrate hears and determines a case very much as a father does a dispute between to children, or, better still, as an arbitrator does a difficulty between two friendly merchants. In the main, justice is done in the premises and, it must be added, is done more speedily, cheaply, and thoroughly than by the tribunals of our own race.

In the third place, litigation being an evil, public policy has increased to a very large extent the number of obligations which have no legal or binding nature except the honor of the debtor. Many of these “debts of honor” will seem monstrous to the legal mind……

…Professional services at Chinese law have in the main no legal value. In practice a physician keeps a memorandum of his services, but seldom, if ever, sends a bill. When his work is done, the patient usually hands him an amount of money equal to what would have been charged under the American system. For this no receipt is given. The same principle applies to scribes, mediums, priests, and other professionals. As a heck upon non-paying customers shrewd professional men insist upon a note, I O U, or bond before doing any work. The document, no matter what its form, is as binding as ordinary business paper. It may be well to add at this point that a creditor has means of collecting debts which seem ridiculous to the Western mind. He depends upon the profound love of peace and tranquility so characteristic of the Chinese race. When a patron or client shows a disinclination toward payment, he visits the latter’s house, sits upon the threshold, and weeps and harangues until his bill is paid. It seldom requires more than an hour of lamentation to collect any reasonable claim.

In cases of insolvency legal debts and those of honor are almost invariably paid by the debtor if he retrieves his position. In very many cases the obligations of bankrupt have been assumed by his children and even grandchildren. This is a legal duty when the debt is legal in character. When it is a debt of honor, its payment by a second generation is considered an act of high filial piety.

A custom, probably peculiar to china, is that of mutual forgetfulness. Business men who have advanced moneys or sold goods on credit and find it impossible to collect their capital or to obtain payment in full of the amount due them, but who are on friendly terms with their debtors, will, after several years, call upon the latter and agree to “forget everything to date.” This is equivalent to a mutual release under seal and is highly favored by the great magistrates and priests of China. In conclusion, it may be stated that commercial litigation and insolvency are much rarer in China than in Europe or the United States. The number of tribunals, magistrates, and court officers is scarcely one-third, and the amount involved not a tenth, of what is at stake in the courts of Christendom.

Beyond the fear of going to law is the greater fear and disgrace of being a delinquent debtor. A Chinaman who becomes financially embarrassed will sell himself for a plantation coolie, go into exile for twenty years, or even commit suicide. It is part of his religion to pay off all he owes in the last week of the year, in order that he may begin the next one free from care and oblitatoin….

….The matter may be summed up in the remark that the expression “a debt of honor” in China is “a debt of duty,” and that one of their great maxims is “the highest good is the performance of every duty, even the humblest.”

Edward Bedloe, U.S. Consul, “Reports from the Consuls of the United States, Commerce, Manufactures, Etc., Vol. XLII, May, June, July and August, 1893”, U.S. Bureau of Foreign Commerce, Government Printing Office, Washington, 1893. pp. 500-503
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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Who Will Run Xiamen's Foreign Consulates?

Bill Brown ... Xiamen University

Xiamen government seems to be taking the Field of Dreams approach in building its new "consulate district." "If you build it, they will come!" Or so they hope. Personally, I think they should have the consulates on Gulangyu Islet, where they used to be. While 100 years ago Gulangyu was the richest square mile on earth, today the government is struggling to break even, much less break a profit, on the tiny garden islet. Xiamen should abandon its periodic visions of transforming the former international settlement into a Chinese Disneyland and once again use Gulangyu's buildings for worthwhile purposes, such as consulates and schools. Of course, they haven't asked for my opinion...


Regardless of where the consulates are located, I do hope more countries open consuls here. It will be good for Xiamen, and good for the foreign countries as well. But newly arrived Consuls would do well to choose carefully their Chinese staff, lest locals not only dictate where consuls are located but also what goes on inside them as well! As MacGowan noted over a century ago, "weak-willed" foreign consuls can easily end up wrapped around the finger of their Chinese secretary, even as my household sometimes seems under the thumb of our helper of 20 years, the indefatigable Lixi! I hope you enjoy this amusing extract from John MacGowan's 1907 work, "Sidelights on Chinese Life" (1907, pp. 16,17).

Chinese in the Foreign Consulates
Perhaps the most conspicuous instance of the dominating influence of the Chinaman is seen in the foreign Consulates. In each of these there is a Chinese official employed that is called a writer. He is a gentleman and a member of the literary class. His duties are to write dispatches in Chinese to the mandarins and to be the one connecting link between the native authorities and the particular foreign Consul in whose service he happens to be. All petitions or complaints from the Chinese have to go through his hands, so that his position is one of great responsibility and power.

If the Consul happens to be a man of strong, independent character he will hold his own, and the business of the Consulate will be in a large measure under his own control.

If he is, however, easy-going or of average intellectual ability, he comes at once under the hypnotizing influence of the wily self-contained Chinaman, who before long becomes the master spirit in the office. This fact is so far realized by the leading mandarin of the place that he actually subsidizes him to influence the policy of the Consul to be favourable to him. A hostile writer could so easily influence his mind against the former, and cause such strained diplomatic relations, that he would incur the resentment of his superiors and be dismissed from his office.

I have known a case where the whole policy of a Consulate was dictated by the writer, who was a clever, intriguing scamp. All Chinese documents had to pass through his hands, and it depended upon the amount of the bribes received whether any of them got a dispassionate investigation at the hands of the Consul. His reputation became so bad that he was finally asked to resign, but he did so with a very comfortable fortune that enabled him to take a commanding position amongst the leading men in his neighbourhood.

In whatever direction one likes to take the Chinaman, he seems to have an hypnotic power that secures, if not favour, at least attention.
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